THE MIND OF EVIL

Episode One

Sue: Is there any particular reason why this is in black and white?
Me: Yes, it was specifically done to annoy you.
Sue: Can’t they colour it in or something?
Me: That would be ridiculous, and almost certainly impossible. Anyway, this story looks better in black and white.
Sue: So why is the Doctor’s license plate ‘WHO 1’? Surely it should be ‘WHO 3’.
Me: Or ‘WHO TORY’. Your observations on the Third Doctor’s politics have caused quite a stir. You’re the new Paul Cornell.
Sue: Who?

The Doctor and Jo arrive at Stangmoor Prison.

Sue: Is this going to be Porridge meets Doctor Who?

Stangmoor’s prisoners are in a very rowdy mood.

Sue: Great. Another ridiculously loud location. I have a headache already. Are we actually supposed to hear the dialogue in this scene, Neil? Because I can’t.

We are introduced to a hardened criminal called Barnham.

Sue: It’s Vinnie Jones meets Marty Feldman.

The Doctor and Jo take their seats for a scientific demonstration.

Sue: Was the Doctor supposed to flap his coat into that extra’s face just then? Is it because the Doctor is an arrogant, pompous twat these days?

As Professor Kettering explains the Keller Process to the assembled onlookers, the Doctor chips in with some awfully snide remarks.

Sue: There’s nothing worse than giving a lecture when there’s a smart arse in the audience who’s interrupting you.
Me: That’s just an average Thursday for me.

The Keller machine can extract evil thoughts from a person.

Sue: Does it blow-dry their hair at the same time?

As Barnham is attached to the machine, Sue doesn’t have a problem with the concept.

The Mind of EvilSue: It sounds alright to me. If it works, of course. I’m guessing that it won’t, though.
Me: There would be five extraordinarily dull episodes left if it did work.
Sue: As opposed to five ordinarily dull episodes, you mean?
Me: Oh look, it’s Mr Bronson…
Sue: Who?

I sigh.

Sue: He’s well after my time, love. I was busy getting married while you were sat at home watching Grange Hill.

Meanwhile UNIT are planning to throw a nuclear weapon into the sea.

Sue: Oh no, not Mike Yates again!

And then, a little later…

Sue: Oh no, not mind control again! Surely they could come up with something new? Just for one week?

The Doctor is so infuriated by the authorities’ reluctance to destroy the Keller machine, he lets his age slip out.

Sue: So is the Doctor several thousand years old or what? He didn’t look like he was lying when he said it, he looked like he said it by mistake. Oh, I don’t care. Life’s too short as it is. Forget I even asked.

The Doctor sends everyone away so he can examine the machine.

Me: What would the machine make you see, Sue? What scares you?
Sue: I’m not scared of anything.
Me: There must be something that terrifies you.
Sue: Bad carpentry.
Me: Killed by splinters, eh? Nasty.

The machine turns itself on.

Sue: Will the Doctor see the Master?

The Doctor is engulfed by flames.

Sue: Oh, that makes sense. He saw a planet burn a couple of weeks ago.
Me: So what do you think of it so far?
Sue: I’ve seen worse.

 

Episode Two

The Mind of EvilSue: You never see the Doctor scared like this. It’s unsettling.

Jo enters the room and the Keller machine deactivates itself.

Sue: That’s the second time Jo’s saved the Doctor’s life. Not that I’m keeping score or anything.

The Doctor is visibly shaken by the experience.

Sue: He’s actually mentioning that story from the other week, now. I’m glad because it proves that he feels bad about leaving all those people to die.

The Doctor is convinced that the authorities will have to destroy the Keller machine.

Sue: Why doesn’t he just push the machine over? You know, accidentally on purpose. He could pretend to stumble into it and put his foot through the damn thing at the same time. If it’s that bad, what’s he waiting for?

Meanwhile a telephone engineer is acting suspiciously outside the peace conference.

Sue: Is this guy hacking into the phones? Is he a journalist?

His work done, the telephone engineer retires to his shelter.

The Mind of EvilSue: Whatever happened to those stripy tents? You never see them by the side of the road any more.
Me: Ditto for white dog poo.
Sue: (Pointing) Oh, it’s the Master! So soon? I wasn’t expecting that. Is the Master obsessed with telephones? Do all his plans involve telephones? Didn’t John Simm do something with the telephones?

The Master ends up in a limousine, puffing on a fat cigar.

Sue: He looks like a right banker. And this is the Doctor’s fault, yes? The only reason the Master is dicking around on Earth is because the Doctor trapped him here. He’d probably be off annoying the Daleks or the Cybermen if it wasn’t for the Doctor’s meddling.

When the Doctor is introduced to the Chinese delegate, he claims to be a friend of Mao Zedong.

Sue: This Doctor is such a name-dropping luvvie.
Me: He’ll be claiming he was Stalin’s golf partner next.

The Master hypnotises Chin Lee into carrying out his nefarious plans.

Sue: The Master is basically Derren Brown, but with more hair. I like him.

She’s also a big fan of Mailer.

Sue: It’s like we’re watching The Sweeney when he struts about the place. Can’t he be the Master’s regular companion? The sets are top-notch in this story, too. It looks like a real prison. In fact, the only reason I know it isn’t a real prison is because they’re shooting this on videotape.

The episode concludes with the American delegate believing that Chin Lee has transformed into a red dragon. Well, we assume it’s red. It could be pink for all we know.

Sue: They’ve just turned up the racism to 11.

 

Episode Three

The Mind of EvilSue: It’s a very dodgy monster – on lots of levels. And that was the worst pretend-faint I’ve ever seen. Pathetic!

Meanwhile Benton and Yates are parading around in front of a blow-up photograph of a missile.

Sue: The chroma is atrocious. It looks cheap. And I bet it looked even worse in colour.

Sue begins to question the wisdom of hosting a peace conference when you’re trying to dispose of a top-secret nuclear weapon at the same time.

Sue: The Brigadier is completely shagged out this week. He needs a lie-down. I’m worried about him.

Mailer begins to throw his weight around Stangmoor.

Sue: This bloke is rough. It’s as if he’s walked into the wrong programme or something.

But Mailer isn’t so tough; Jo manages to disarm him and a riot breaks out.

Sue: You go, girl! Jo isn’t as stupid as she looks. She has this tomboy thing going on, as well. Plus I really like her cords.

Meanwhile the Master is enjoying some exceptionally odd music in his car.

Sue: Is he listening to Dudley Simpson FM?

The Master strolls into the prison under the guise of Professor Keller, and it doesn’t take him long to take over the place with the help of Mailer.

Sue: I told you he was rough! He just shot that guy in the back!

The Doctor is taken to see the Master, but when the Time Lord’s chair spins around to face him, Sue sighs with disappointment.

Sue: He really needs a cat.

The Master hooks the Doctor up to the Keller machine, and I have to rewind the episode several times so Sue can spot all the monsters.

The Mind of EvilSue: Daleks… Cybermen… Ice Warriors…
Me: And?
Sue: I don’t recognise the rest.
Me: Try again.
Sue: A grasshopper? No, wait – is that a Zarbi? A Zarbi?! Why is he frightened of the ****ing Zarbi?!
Me: And?
Sue: It looks like a flying box. I’m sorry but I haven’t a clue.
Me: It’s a War Machine.
Sue: A War Machine? **** off!

 

Episode Four

The Master rescues the Doctor from the Keller machine.

Sue: Has the Master changed his mind again? He never thinks it through, does he? That’s a bit crap.

And then Sue makes a very pertinent point.

Sue: Where did the Master get this alien machine thing from in the first place? If he’s stuck on Earth, where did he find it? Did he buy it on an intergalactic version of eBay?

Sue deduces that the Doctor is the Master’s greatest fear just before it happens.

Sue: It was either the Doctor or the Autons. It wasn’t that hard to guess.

The Master struggles to withstand the machine’s power.

Sue: Why doesn’t he just pull the bloody plug out?

The Doctor is in a bad way. One of his hearts has given out and he’s drifting in and out of consciousness.

The Mind of EvilSue: The Third Doctor likes his comas, doesn’t he? He’s a very sickly Doctor so far.
Me: If this was made in the Troughton era, he’d probably go on holiday for a week.
Sue: That was a nice dissolve between the Doctor’s face and the Master’s. I can see what they’re trying to do there. Nice.

The Master plans to steal the Thunderbolt missile with an army of escaped convicts.

Sue: The extras are reacting to the news that they’re going to steal a nuclear weapon like they’ve just been told that they’re spending the day at Alton Towers.

Having said that, when the Thunderbolt’s convoy is eventually ambushed by the villains, Sue is seriously impressed.

Sue: The stunts are great. Hang on, here comes Mike Yates to spoil it. Oh dear.
Me: I like the way his feet skid when he comes to an abrupt halt. That warrants a comedy cartoon sound effect.
Sue: Yates always takes the grit out of a scene. I’m not sure if he’s a comment on how upper-class twits are completely useless but still manage to rise to the top, or it’s just bad casting.

Yates miraculously avoids being shot in the head, which means he’s able to give chase on his motorcycle.

The Mind of EvilSue: He’s not exactly Steve McQueen. In fact, he’s more like Frank Spencer in Some Mothers Do Have ‘Em.

Benton tells the Brigadier that the bad guys are driving a Black Maria.

Sue: (Wistfully) You never see Black Marias any more.
Me: They’ve gone the same way as stripy tents and white dog poo.
Sue: Is the Keller Machine a mini-TARDIS? It definitely sounds like one, only it looks like a policeman’s helmet instead of a police telephone box. And now it’s taking off! See, it is a TARDIS! I was right!

And then the Keller machine attacks the Doctor. Again.

Sue: I’m not sure how I feel about this story. Some of it’s very good, and some of it’s utter shit.

 

Episode Five

The Mind of EvilSue: The more I look at it, the more convinced I am that this was a terrible idea for a monster. A box with a helmet stuck on a tube? Terrifying.

The Brigadier prepares to lead an assault on the prison.

Sue: Aww, God bless Benton for discharging himself from hospital. He’s so keen. I’m really warming to Benton. He’s so much better than Yates.

The Master realises that his machine is completely out of control. In fact, things are so bad he turns to the Doctor for help.

Sue: The Master is a rubbish villain. He’s supposed to be the Doctor’s arch-enemy and yet he talks to him like he’s an old pal. And it’s pathetic when he has to ask for help when his evil schemes go pear shaped. He’s rubbish.

As the Doctor tries to pacify the alien machine, he’s attacked by his greatest fears once again.

Sue: And now he’s afraid of Silurians. I thought he was friends with the Silurians?

Later, as he recovers from another psychic assault, the Doctor regales Jo with a tale about Sir Walter Raleigh and a potato (or in other words, utter bollocks).

Sue: He’s name-dropping again. The padding in this story is shameless.

Meanwhile the Brigadier passes himself off as a working class oik so he can gain access to the prison.

The Mind of EvilSue: Cor blimey, guv’nor! I must say, though, this is a lovely prison. The foliage is very pretty. I could definitely live in a place like this.

UNIT go on the attack.

Sue: At last – there’s our obligatory shot of a stuntman falling off a tall ledge. I was beginning to worry.

UNIT aren’t taking any prisoners. Literally.

Sue: UNIT are pretty vicious when they want to be. They definitely have a shoot-to-kill policy.

The death toll is mounting.

Sue: When does Doctor Who become a children’s television show again? This is more like Straw Dogs.

Mailer pulls a gun on the Doctor… Bang! Cue credits.

Sue: The Brigadier shot the bad guy. I bet you any money.

 

Episode Six

Sue: They’re so pleased with last week’s stunts, they’re showing them again this week. Not that you can blame them.

The Brigadier shoots Mailer in the nick of time.

Me: You were right, love.
Sue: Great cut, though. Very nicely done.

The Brigadier believes that he’s sown everything up, so a dressing down from the Doctor is the last thing he expects.

Sue: The Doctor is such an ungrateful dick. The Brig just saved your life, you git!

The Mind of EvilIt’s at this point Barnham decides to wander back into the plot.

Sue: I know where I recognise him from now. He’s Jaws in the James Bond films, right?

Jo is very protective of Barnham so she rushes off to find him some food.

Sue: I hope Jo doesn’t give him some porridge, because that would be heartless.

The Keller machine breaks free of its electronic lasso.

Sue: This scene is making me seasick.

And it isn’t long before the machine is on the rampage again, but when Barnham enters the room it powers down.

Sue: I’ve got it! Just think about nice things! Think about fluffy kittens and you’ll be fine!

Her theory is backed up by the Doctor.

Sue: This means the Doctor and Jo must have had evil thoughts. I can believe that of the Doctor, but not Jo. And the machine seemed to be feasting on the Doctor’s evil thoughts, which is quite interesting too.

The Mind of EvilThe Master telephones the Doctor so he can gloat about his plan to trigger World War III.

Sue: The Master’s plan is crap! He’s insane!

The Doctor sets out to stop his arch-nemesis with some good old-fashioned Venusian karate.

Sue: I bet he wears Hai Karate aftershave, as well.

The Master’s plan is foiled, but Barnham is killed in the process. Jo is devastated.

Sue: Poor Jo.
Me: Wait until she finds out Barnham was a convicted paedophile.

The Doctor tells Jo to stop feeling sorry for herself. In fact, he tells her she should be feeling sorry for him instead!

Sue: Good grief!

The story concludes with the Master threatening the Doctor over the telephone.

Sue: I’m sure the Master will be back next season. And I don’t know why the Doctor is so worried – his arch-enemy is bloody useless.

 

The Score

Sue: I didn’t like that one very much. The monster was rubbish. The Master was rubbish. The Doctor was a git. It was two episodes too long, and it was black and white. It’s definitely not in my top 10, Neil.

5/10

Me: That was our last black and white episode. Thanks to 2Entertain’s DVD release schedule, everything’s in colour from now on.
Sue: That’s definitely worth a dance.

 

 

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Comments

  1. Lewis  November 30, 2011

    Please watch “Planet of the Daleks (ep3)” and “Invasion of the Dinosaurs” in B&W just to annoy Sue? 😀

    Great as ever guys. I haven’t actually seen this one. Just sounds like a crappy run-around to be honest!

    • Dave Sanders  December 1, 2011

      I don’t think Sue’s going to care if Invasion… episode 1 is in black and white or not. Not after watching the other five.

      • PolarityReversed  December 1, 2011

        Wasn’t there some talk of colourising Planet 3?

        I found this one rather irritating myself. Norman Stanley Master, you have been found guilty of crappy plans of universal domination and adopting obvious pseudonyms and it is now my duty to pass sentence. You are an habitual overreaching bungler who views cock-ups as an occupational hazard and presumably accepts stranding on Earth in the same casual manner. I therefore feel constrained … etc … you will hang about with weird gold people, dopy colonists in space pyjamas and huge hoofy people for one series.

        • John G  December 1, 2011

          “Wasn’t there some talk of colourising Planet 3?”

          They have – on the DVD.

        • Matt Sharp  December 1, 2011

          ‘Norman Stanley Master’

          No, Norman Stanley plays the Master in ‘Terror of the Autons’, he’s billed as ‘Telephone Man’ though.

  2. Christopher Pittard  November 30, 2011

    “Whatever happened to those stripey tents? You never see them by the side of the road anymore.”

    Not so! I walked past one in north Portsmouth this very afternoon. Admittedly, as I did so I thought “it’s one of those stripey tents – I haven’t seen one of those by the side of the road in ages.” It even had the 80s BT logo on it. That’s Portsmouth, all right (probably had a Sea Devil in it).

    I believe that the first Master/Derren Brown parallel (that I’m aware of, anyway) was made by Charlie Brooker. I seem to recall his phrase was Brown as looking like the Master in “Doctor Who – the Soho years.”

  3. Simon Harries  December 1, 2011

    I did enjoy the comment: “Some of it is very good and some of it is utter shit.” Couldn’t agree with you more, Sue.

  4. Glen Allen  December 1, 2011

    Hmm yes it promises so much and delivers… “A War Machine? **** off!”
    Enough said 🙂

  5. Glen Allen  December 1, 2011

    And OMG we’re now in December. How did that happen??????????

    I want you to , but you’re far far too early for it.
    “A girls best friend” for Wednesday 21st December…No no no I know you can’t……hmmmm….but we can… Right everyone round mine for an audio commentary 🙂

    • Simon Harries  December 1, 2011

      Oh Glen, stop honking!

  6. Jason Miller  December 1, 2011

    “Is the Master listening to Dudley Simpson FM?”

    Brilliant! Almost fell off my chair laughing…

    • Frankymole  December 2, 2011

      “Dudley Simpson FM” – that’s the best description of King Crimson that I have ever read!

  7. Marty  December 1, 2011

    “That CSO is atrocious. It looks so cheap. It probably looked even worse in colour.” Yes, very probably.

    “A grasshopper? No, wait – is that a Zarbi? A Zarbi?! Why is he frightened of the ****ing Zarbi?!” … “A War Machine? **** off!” Why must you censor Sue?

    Stunts wise are we in the “action by HAVOC” era?

    “The Master’s plan is crap!” Just wait Sue, just wait.

    You didn’t decide to show Sue the few minutes that do exist in colour?

  8. Dim  December 1, 2011

    ” The Doctor boasts that he is a friend of Mao Ze dong”…really?

    “Mao Ze dong”?

    (I really don’t know, haven’t seen this story – but “Mao Ze dong”?)

    • Neil Perryman  December 1, 2011

      Sorry, I had an extra space in there by accident, but yes, his name is Mao Zedong.

      • PolarityReversed  December 2, 2011

        Only in currently popular transliteration. Lighten up.

  9. Gareth  December 1, 2011

    I’ve only seen Invasion Of The you-know-whats with the first episode in B&W – I wasn’t aware they’d colourised it – but seriously, I can’t imagine added colour being a big plus. The black-and-whiteness makes it eerie.

    Besides that, I agree with Sue on this one. Although I do remember being more freaked out by the Doctor’s Keller Machine nightmares – or possibly by the faces Jon Pertwee pulls.

    • Rollocks  December 2, 2011

      They have recolourised “Invasion…” episode 1, but apparently the restoration team ain’t that happy with the results and as such are including a restored copy of the black and white version on the DVD as well.

  10. BWT  December 1, 2011

    “Here comes Mike Yates to spoil it all.” – Best. T-shirt. Ever.

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who finds Yates irritating in the extreme. Yes, Sue – it is extremely bad casting. I’m a little confused how Ian Marter manage to lose out to Franklin in the audition process. Sheesh!

    I now anxiously look forward to next week’s offering: it’s a secret favourite of mine…

    • John G  December 1, 2011

      “I’m a little confused how Ian Marter manage to lose out to Franklin in the audition process.”

      Apparently Marter was offered the part first, but had to turn it down because of prior commitments. Franklin ended up getting it because Barry Letts happened to be sitting next to his agent one night in the theatre! I don’t mind his performance myself, but it’s true to say he isn’t the most convincing soldier in the world…

      • Iain Coleman  December 1, 2011

        He is indeed the least soldierly soldier you could ever see. Which is odd, as he did do national service, as a 2nd Lieutenant in the Royal Green Jackets.

        • PolarityReversed  December 2, 2011

          Doing what, I wonder. Making scatter cushions and throws for the officers mess?

          • Frankymole  December 2, 2011

            “I was responsible for the officer’s mess” – back at the camp, presumably.

          • PolarityReversed  December 2, 2011

            Tut-tut. 7 days CB for that one, Filthymole.
            “Chap with wings, five rounds rapid. Yates – five, six, seven, eight… and Fosse and Fosse, left-spin and – wait for it… – jazz hands.”

  11. The Secretive Bus  December 1, 2011

    Fans always laugh at the monster parade in this one – Zarbi, War Machines, Koquillion, etc. And clearly it’s the result of a production team not too fussed about what photos they’re throwing in. But I’ve always thought there was a perfectly decent rationale for it. When the Doctor tells Jo he saw fire and flames she asks why and he replies that he saw a world consumed in flames. He doesn’t say he saw fire because he’s scared of fire, more the fire represented a great loss and the deaths of many people. Similarly, though the Doctor isn’t scared of these monsters personally, in fighting them a lot of good people die. Some represent evil (Daleks, Cybermen etc.) and some just deaths, or even the idea that good creatures can be turned to evil (Zarbi?) or constructed by evil (War Machines). Even Koquillion was really a man who committed a massacre to cover for a single crime. And the Silurians… could be again the Doctor’s guilt at them having been blown up?

    I mean, the production team didn’t care, but I think it makes sense!

    • Dave Sanders  December 1, 2011

      Yeah, but… who died in the War Machines story bar some celebrity front-page tramp?

      Speaking of which…

  12. Simon Harries  December 1, 2011

    In the particular photo which you show at the top of the page, I’ve always thought Delgado has the look of David Niven about him…

    • Antinous  December 1, 2011

      Yes – he was a handsome man. Lose the beard and he could have been a great Doctor, though you have to wait for the next adventure to really get a sense of that

  13. John G  December 1, 2011

    Yet another very witty and perceptive post from Sue – I agree that “Dudley Simpson FM” is the pick of the quotes!

    I am largely with Sue on this one. Mind of Evil looks good, is very well directed and has some superb action sequences, but there is little in the way of meaningful plot to back it all up. It all feels loosely thrown together, with the peace conference plot discarded halfway through because it wasn’t substantial enough to fill out the running time. The Doctor, meanwhile, is exhibiting high levels of gittery (he is spectacularly ungrateful to Jo, as well as the Brig, for saving his life during the course of the story) and I’m glad Sue is already discerning that the Master – for all Roger Delgado’s excellence – is a pretty lame villain. I don’t like the prison setting much either – while I am all for a measure of gritty realism in Who, this feels a bit too real and mundane for the show.

    I’m not sure though why Sue regarded the dragon bit as racist. It’s somewhat stereotypical, sure, but if Sue regards that as racist I dread to think what her reaction to Talons is going to be when you get there…

    • Antinous  December 3, 2011

      We have The Green Death and Terror of the Zygons first …

  14. Steve O'Brien  December 1, 2011

    Did you tell Sue that Delgado’s wife started shagging Mailer after he died?

    • Matthew Turnage  December 1, 2011

      I hope you mean after Delgado died, not after Mailer died!

    • Antinous  December 3, 2011

      Eww. That misconstruction did occur to me too. However, I understand William Marlowe did not marry Kismet Delgado until 1979. I think she still lives in Carmarthen here in South-West Wales.

  15. Richard Lyth  December 1, 2011

    I haven’t seen this one yet – waiting for the DVD (no doubt in a double-pack with The Face Of Evil) but from the sound of it I’m not missing much. I’d like to see a Pertwee T-shirt with “The Doctor is an arrogant, pompous twat” on it, though I can’t think of many occasions I’d wear it. And the quote “I was busy getting married while you were sat at home watching Grange Hill” makes Neil and Sue sound like the Doctor Who fandom equivalent of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, let’s hope they don’t end the same way…

  16. Matt Sharp  December 1, 2011

    ‘Sue: A grasshopper? No, wait – is that a Zarbi? A Zarbi?! Why is he frightened of the ****ing Zarbi?!’

    The Doctor is terrified of boredom, as he mentions in ‘The War Games’.

  17. David North  December 2, 2011

    If this is going to end up with indoctrinating the Mrs with Paul Cornell’s 20 year old opinions I’m off.

    • Neil Perryman  December 2, 2011

      No, she jumped to those conclusions herself.

      • Dave Sanders  December 4, 2011

        Here’s the question though: why should the Third Doctor *not* be more of an ‘establishment’ figure, when the entire remit of his exile is to protect the status-quo of the Earth’s place in the universe, and being part of the establishment (however grudgingly) means he can call upon additional resources and contacts, and actually get more things *done*?

  18. Jamie  December 2, 2011

    I fear the stereotypes have been greatly misinterpreted as racism, alas.

  19. Dave Rolinson  December 2, 2011

    “If this is going to end up with indoctrinating the Mrs with Paul Cornell’s 20 year old opinions I’m off.”

    I’m turning into a self-appointed grumpy moderator, but:

    1. She’s observing what’s in the programme, without any fan baggage or agenda (negative or positive, trad or rad). That’s the joy of this. That’s the *point* of this. To save repeating myself: please see my post on Terror of the Autons for the reasons why this statement is nonsensical.
    2. Neil has a brain. He’s a long-term fan with his own views. He doesn’t need to regurgitate someone else’s. Neither does he need to ‘indoctrinate’ Sue. In fact that would derail the whole experiment.
    3. Sue has a brain. What gives anyone the impression she’s that easy to “indoctrinate” or brainwash? That sort of thing happens in Doctor Who.
    4. There’s a dialogue going on here. Not a fanboy monologue. It’s two different views, each rewarding to us nerdy folk in its own way, but the views also work together. One gives a fresh perspective, the other gives some fan asides. One isn’t overriding the other, or trying to.
    5. The dig at Paul Cornell seems a bit out-of-place. There were a lot of people having opinions like these 20 years ago, myself included. And if his opinions do start creeping in – well, Cornell’s opinions were some of the more reasonable, intelligent, cogently-argued and sensitive, so it could be worse.

    • Simon Harries  December 2, 2011

      and 6. You’re ugly and you have lumpy legs.

  20. gangnet  December 2, 2011

    So Sue has more of a problem with the Doctor palling around with a Tory than with his palling around with Mao? Seriously?

    • Dan  December 2, 2011

      That doesn’t seem implied.

  21. Frankymole  December 2, 2011

    Puff the Magic Dragon was indeed pink, according to a surviving photo (and Barry Letts, who compared it unfavourably to a quilted pyjama case).

    • Neil Perryman  December 2, 2011

      Wow. That was a lucky guess on my part.

    • PolarityReversed  December 2, 2011

      Outstanding. How do you KNOW this stuff?

      • Dave Sanders  December 3, 2011

        Tat Wood does and we get it from him. 🙂

  22. Longtime Listener  December 2, 2011

    The Master telephones the Doctor so he can gloat about his plan. This involves sparking off World War III so he can take over the planet:

    Sue: The Master’s plan is crap! He’s insane!

    Obligatory Bill Bailey reference moment…

    Il est fou! Controller le monde!

  23. 8bit Sanders  December 2, 2011

    If they’d put the quote “The Doctor is an ungrateful dick” on the P’twee Half Moon Bay mug I might have been persuaded to buy it.

    Are you going to ramp up Sue’s Yates issues by telling her “the Richard Franklin story” at any point?

    • Neil Perryman  December 2, 2011

      No.

      • Dave Sanders  December 4, 2011

        Silent Majority Party. *derisory snort*

    • sweeneyged  December 22, 2011

      Is that the TV Cream Story? uuurrggghhhhhhh

  24. farsighted99  January 11, 2012

    Worst.monster.ever. A fire hydrant attached to a metal box; with handles yet. What, no wheels? What could be worse? It even has a mutant something-or-other inside it. And it dematerializes too. Why does it keep coming back to the same place??? Not too intelligent! Rubbish alien, I say! It was fairly good until the thing came to life; it should have stayed a machine. LOL! Anyway, it had its moments, but wasn’t the best story. They certainly killed off a lot of people in this one, no matter what. I’ll be generous and give it a 6.