Drinking games without frontiers…
Before we settle down to watch the first episode of Frontier in Space, I inform Sue that we have been watching Doctor Who together for exactly one year.
Sue: It’s flown by.
Me: Really? I thought you’d be fed up with it by now.
Sue: Not at all. In fact, I think it’s probably brought us closer together.
Nicol: I think I’m going to be sick.
Me: Go away, Nicol.
Episode One
Sue’s opening gambit is reserved for the bombastic fanfare that accompanies a model spaceship.
Sue: This sounds a lot like Dudley.
Me: Oh yes, this is definitely Dudley. This is basically what Doctor Who sounds like for the next seven years.
Sue: I can live with that.
As the camera sweeps through the ship’s cockpit, Sue is very complimentary.
Sue: I like the direction straight away. That was a lovely tracking shot. And that pilot is very easy on the eye, too.
Me: I am still here, you know.
Sue: Yeah, this has a nice, pacey start. I hope they can keep it up.
The TARDIS avoids a collision with the spaceship by materialising inside it. The Doctor and Jo decide to explore their new surroundings…
Sue: It reminds me of the Doctor Who Experience a bit. Did they model the railings after this episode? I bet they did.
A high-pitched whine tricks Jo into believing that she is being attacked by a Drashig.
Sue: Not the Drashigs again! How’s that going to work?
Before she can get bogged down in the logistics of a Drashig invasion, Sue is distracted by a picture that has been used to decorate the ship’s cockpit.
Sue: There’s a woman with a laser coming out of her nipple over there. Look at it! I can’t believe they put porn on the wall of a children’s TV show. That’s shocking.
And then Sue gets her first look at the Draconians. And she is seriously impressed.
Sue: Their masks are great. They look like the Klingons. Who came first? This lot or the Klingons?
Me: The Klingons did, but they didn’t look like this. They look more like this eventually, but many years from now. Does that make any sense?
Sue: Forget the Klingons – this reminds me more of Babylon 5.
As General Williams stomps about, demanding war and retribution, Sue has his card marked.
Sue: It’s Eric Cantona. I bet he’d be good in a face-kicking competition.
The Doctor explains to the Earth authorities that the recent victims of space piracy were all forced to witness their deepest fears, thanks to a post-hypnotic command.
Sue: Is it the Master? This has the Master written all over it.
The Doctor unlocks the door to his cell but he is immediately captured again, just as he tries to leave it. He apologises and pops back inside.
Sue: That’s funny. I like that. It’s padding with a punchline.
I don’t have the heart to tell her that this scene works as a metaphor for the whole story.
And then some Ogrons turn up.
Sue: It’s the Orcs again! Are the Daleks in this? Are the Master and the Daleks in this one? Is that even allowed?
Me: No.
Sue: It’s nice to see a woman in charge. This must have been well ahead of its time. I hope she doesn’t turn out to be useless. That would be a blow for feminism.
It seems that the TARDIS has been nicked by the Ogrons.
Sue: How did they get the TARDIS through that tiny door? That’s impossible!
A security team from Earth turns up to investigate. One of them wants to know if the Doctor is on his way to a fancy dress party.
Sue: He’s a fine one to talk. Has he looked in a mirror recently? What is he supposed to be wearing? He looks like he’s late for an American football practice. Just look at that headgear! If you lit him from behind, he’d look like Mickey Mouse.
The episode concludes with the Doctor and Jo accused of being Draconian spies.
Sue: This isn’t too bad. It feels quite epic for a Doctor Who.
Episode Two
Sue has decided to fixate on the picture of the woman with the laser for a nipple.
Sue: It’s realistic – it’s just the sort of thing a bloke would blu-tack to the wall – but did we really need to see it? Having a female president implies that we’ve gone beyond all that nonsense in the future. It’s a bit sad.
Luckily, I have the perfect distraction:
Me: We could play the Frontier in Space drinking game. If you think you can handle it.
Sue is up to the challenge and Jack Daniels makes a very welcome appearance. We consume a shot every time the Doctor or Jo are incarcerated in a cell. This can be a very dangerous game indeed.
Sue: You know, if you lit that pilot from behind, he’d look just like Mickey Mouse.
Me: You said that yesterday.
Sue: Trust me, it’s worth repeating.
General Williams threatens to use a mind probe on the Doctor…
Me: No! Not the mind probe!
I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.
Sue: Is the mind probe really bad?
Me: You have absolutely no idea. Actually, we could push the boat out by playing two different Frontier in Space drinking games at the same time: we have to take a shot every time somebody mentions a mind probe as well. We may require medical attention once this is over.
To pass the time, the Doctor regales Jo with a tale about the time he met a purple horse with yellow spots.
Sue: Now that’s an episode I’d like to see.
When he is questioned, the Doctor claims that he has never been employed by anyone in his entire life.
Sue: What is he talking about? Isn’t he technically working for UNIT right this very second? And then there’s the Time Lords. He’s always doing odd jobs for them. What a liar.
Sue believes that General Williams is “definitely in on it” (whatever “it” is). Incredibly, she also believes that the actor playing him (Michael Hawkins) exudes enough menace to be the big man himself.
Sue: Is this bloke the Master? Is this a new Master who has regenerated between stories? Or maybe an old Master? They could do that if they wanted to, couldn’t they? That would be a shock. Instead of The Three Doctors you could have The Two Masters. Am I close?
The action shifts to the Draconian embassy on Earth…
Sue: I love the Draconians’ flat. The Draconians have great interior designers. It’s very bright and airy. Maybe Habitat make a big comeback in the future? It’s possible. Actually, I bet this looks more believable now than it did back in the 1970s. This reeks of the 1970s.
Thanks to all the locking-up and mind probe posturing, it’s at this point that my notes become more and more illegible.
And then a strange whining sound is played into the prison…
Sue: That’s driven the dog out of the room. That’s the first mark to be deducted from this story. It was doing really well up until that point. Oh, but I might have to give a mark back for this bit – this is quite exciting. These Orcs don’t piss about.
The episode concludes with a platoon of Ogrons storming the prison, with the Doctor and Jo revealed to be their ultimate quarry.
Sue: Yeah, this is pretty good, actually.
Me: You’re drunk.
Episode Three
Sue: It’s a hard life being President of Earth. Actually, I don’t like this scene. It implies that she cares more about her nails than she does the Draconian threat.
She is, of course, referring to the scene where the President is pampered on the brink of war.
Sue: I love her shoes, though. They’re very trendy right now.
After what feels like weeks of build-up, the Doctor is finally subjected to a Mind Probe.
Sue: Is that it? It’s a sink drainer! Actually, this is what they do to people who volunteer to go on Jeremy Kyle. “Have you ever had sexual contact with a Draconian?” And why does every woman in this society looks like she’s about to go to a cocktail party? That’s a bit silly.
The Doctor defeats the mind probe by telling the truth.
Sue: That’s another failure for the Jeremy Kyle researchers. Jeremy will not be pleased.
The Doctor decides to gloat at the mind probe’s ineffectiveness (a word that Jon Pertwee couldn’t say in real life).
Sue: Shoot him in the kneecaps – that’ll wipe the smug grin off his face. Or threaten him with a DNA paternity test.
The authorities decide to pack him off to a penal colony on the Moon instead.
Sue: Is it Guantanamo Bay in space? We are going to need a very big drink when he gets banged-up there.
Me: Are will still playing the Frontier in Space drinking game? I’m still dealing with the hangover from yesterday.
Sue: You wimp.
The Doctor arrives at the lunar penal colony.
Sue: Why isn’t the Doctor dressed in blue pyjamas like everyone else? I demand to see the Doctor in blue pyjamas.
Meanwhile, back on Earth, the Ambassador for Sirius IV demands custody of the Doctor and Jo. There’s just one tiny problem – the Ambassador is none other than…
Sue: Oh, it’s him. Again.
Me: I love how the Master doesn’t even warrant a cliffhanger. He just waltzes into the scene in the middle of a wide shot.
Sue: I quite like that. It’s subtle.
Me: But do we really want the programme to be subtle at this point?
Sue: To be honest, I’m less interested in the story now that the Master has turned up. The story felt quite fresh up until then. Now I’m just waiting for him to **** it all up. I wonder who he’s working with this time? It can’t be the Daleks. Even he isn’t that stupid.
The Doctor quickly ingratiates himself into the colony’s escape committee.
Sue: The Doctor has been reduced to drinking out of a cup designed for a toddler. In a pair of blue pyjamas. This is not one of his better days.
The episode draws to a close with a botched escape attempt that leaves the Doctor trapped in a room with no oxygen.
Sue: The story is beginning to lose a bit of momentum, but I’ve seen worse. The drinking probably helps.
Episode Four
Sue: It’s Battle of the Beards!
Sue is referring to scene where the prison governor and the Master duke it out for custody of the Doctor.
Sue: The governor can’t stop fondling his whiskers. I think he might have goatee envy. The Master wins this round.
Meanwhile, in another cell…
Sue: This is the best cell that we’ve seem so far, and I am becoming quite the expert. You can actually film around this one. I’m guessing that we’ll be spending a fair amount of time in this particular cell.
The Doctor wonders who the Master could be working with this time.
Sue: Yeah, who is the Master going to be betrayed by this time? Is it the Cybermen? Or the Yeti? They are hyping it up, whoever it is.
The new cell that the Doctor and Jo now find themselves in comes equipped with a state of the art CCTV camera.
Sue: So no knocking one out before you go to sleep!
As the Master pilots the ship, he decides to eavesdrop on his captives.
Sue: I notice that the Master doesn’t have any porn on his dashboard. He’s a class act.
The Doctor pretends to talk to Jo as he surreptitiously breaks out of his cell at the same time.
Sue: There is a lot of continuity in this story.
Me: Yeah, there’s a surprising amount of references to old stories. Maybe it’s tied into the fact that this is the 10th anniversary year.
Sue: I like it.
Me: So you like a bit of fanwank then, do you?
Sue: I beg your pardon!
By the time I’ve explained this concept to her, Jo is still banging on about UNIT’s past glories.
Sue: They should talk about all the times the Master has ****ed it up. That would wipe the smug grin from his face. And why doesn’t he just pay an Ogron to watch over them? I bet they come cheap.
As the Doctor slips out of the cell, Jo keeps the fake conversation going.
Me: For the love of God, give her a Target novel to read!
The Doctor makes it outside the spaceship.
Sue: I can see the strings. But they’re trying, bless them.
Sue is shocked when the Doctor suddenly flies off into the inky blackness of space.
Sue: That’s a great cliffhanger.
Me: There’s still 10 minutes to go.
Sue: ****.
When the Doctor uses the air flow in his oxygen tank (“Nice radiator tap”) to propel himself back to the ship, Sue is reminded of James Bond, which is odd because Jo Grant references the super sleuth in her very next breath.
The Master eventually becomes suspicious of Jo’s never-ending monologue, and he doesn’t believe her for a second when she tries to convince him that the Doctor is fast asleep.
Sue: Yeah, she bored him to sleep.
Me: She was halfway through The Mutants at the time.
Sue: Hey! I like The Mutants!
Meanwhile, the Doctor is clambering towards an airlock on the side of the ship…
Sue: Oh dear, he’s got his leg caught in one of the strings.
The Master isn’t fooled by Jo’s antics and he taunts her for her being a very bad actress.
Sue: He’s very funny, I’ll give him that. The Master does liven up things, I suppose. I just can’t take him seriously. He smells of failure. And why does the Master want the Doctor anyway? You’d think he’d keep as far away from his arch-nemesis as possible, especially given his track record.
A Draconian landing party boards the ship and the Master and the Doctor are quickly overcome.
Sue: Just use your fingers!
The Master, Jo and the Doctor are thrown into a cell.
Sue: Do we have to take three shots of Jack when all three of them are locked up? Is that how it works?
Me: If you like. Any excuse will do.
The Master activates a device that he has secreted in his pocket.
Sue: Why didn’t anyone search him? That’s the first thing you do before you throw someone in a cell. Even I know that!
The episode concludes with a shot of an Ogron flying a spaceship.
Sue: What a rubbish cliffhanger.
Me: And no Ogron porn, either.
Episode Five
Our heroes – and villain – are brought before the Draconian Emperor.
Me: This is the scene I remember from my childhood. It’s a very sketchy memory. I’m in my nana’s house. There’s a white rug on floor. Pikelets may have been involved.
Sue: The Draconians look great, I’m not surprised that you remember them. At last, an alien you can give a close-up to without feeling embarrassed about it. Their masks are very impressive. Why haven’t they turned up in the new series? I assume they must turn up quite a lot in old series from this point now on. You don’t create something that good and not use it again. It’s a bit like the Orcs – they were too good not to use again, too.
A Draconian is assigned to partner the Doctor in his quest to avert interplanetary war.
Sue: I hope they become firm friends. The Doctor should have an alien companion for a change. It would make him appear less racist.
And then we are treated to a dogfight in space – Doctor Who style.
Sue: Say what you like, the director is doing his best with what he’s been given. He wouldn’t know a cliffhanger if it bit him on the arse, but he can do the action scenes pretty well. This isn’t bad at all, all things considered.
The Doctor suggests that they arm themselves against the Ogrons’ boarding party.
Sue: The Doctor loves to shoot Orcs. I’m beginning to believe that he might have something against them.
And then Jo makes a social faux pas when she claims that all the Ogrons looks alike to her.
Sue: Oh, Jo! No!
Meanwhile, General Williams is recounting the events that led to the first Earth-Draconian war…
Sue: Hang on a minute – this is Babylon 5! It’s not just similar to Babylon 5 – it is Babylon 5!
You have to admit, it is uncanny.
Sue: I’m glad that Eric Cantona came good in the end. Just like the real Eric Cantona.
The Master attempts to hypnotise Jo into doing his bidding.
Sue: If Jo falls for this, I will be very disappointed. She should have been trained to – oh – right, she has been trained. Thank God for that. Jo is back to being her brave self again this week. I love how she takes on the Master and wins. You go, girl.
The episode ends with the Master reverting to his tried and tested fear-ray instead.
Sue: That’s another sloppy cliffhanger. We should have ended the episode with Jo seeing a monster. That’s just basic.
The gap between Episodes Five and Six became a lot longer than we originally anticipated, hence the delay to this particular update.
It all started when one of our cats, Captain Jack, came down with a urinary tract infection. It’s a bloody good job we took him to the vets when we did because we were later told he would have been dead by the weekend if we hadn’t. Captain Jack hasn’t been a good patient, though, and the last few days have been spent fielding late-night phone calls from distressed vets who don’t seem to understand why Jack wants to bite them whenever they try to stick a rod up his penis. In the end, they sent him home, but it looks like they did this because they can’t be bothered with him, and now he has to go back for yet another procedure. It’s been stressful to say the very least and the Ogrons just had to wait.
And then, in the middle of this, I succumbed to a pinched nerve in my neck. This sounds trivial but believe me, it is probably the most excruciatingly relentless pain that I have ever had to endure. I can’t move my left arm at all.
In fact, I am currently typing this up with one finger, and if this entry makes less sense than usual, please blame the copious amounts of codeine and tramadol that I’m taking. Hang on, did a purple horse with yellow spots just walk past the window?
Episode Six
Sue: Why is Jo frightened of that thing?
Me: The Mutant?
Sue: Yeah, I thought they were supposed to be the good guys. She almost slept with one once, didn’t she? That makes no sense at all.
Back on Earth, politicians are calling for all-out war against Draconia. As an American rants about the Draconian menace on a television screen, Nicol walks into the room:
Nicol: He sounds like a T-bagger.
Sue: I can’t believe you know what that means.
Me: And I can’t believe that you clearly don’t know what that means!
Nicol: Mother!
Sue: Oh look – another cell. I do hope that’s chocolate Angel Delight Jo is eating.
Jo decides to dig her way out of her cell with a spoon.
Sue: Use the bowl. You’ll be there forever, love.
Me: When she gets out, she can give the Master his just desserts.
Sue aims a cushion at me but I manage to talk her down.
Sue: What’s that picture on the wall supposed to represent?
Me: Ogron porn?
Sue: It does look a bit testicular.
As the episode builds towards its rather infamous crescendo, I can tell that Sue has become distracted. She can’t take her eyes off Captain Jack, who has become completely engrossed by the Ogrons.
Sue: The cat loves this episode.
Me: Yes, but he’s smashed off his face on drugs.
And then the Doctor finds himself outside the spaceship. Again.
Sue: There’s a lot of padding in this episode. This is the last episode – it should be pulling its finger out. We did this last week, didn’t we?
We finally arrive on the fabled Ogron planet (“What a dump”), and our heroes stumble into a shoot-out with the Ogrons. Luckily, the Ogrons are frightened off by something hideous/ridiculous.
Sue: It’s Jabba the Hut.
Me: Jabba the Hoover Bag, surely?
Sue: I’m surprised you know what a hoover bag looks like.
And then the Master appears with his new allies – the Daleks!
Sue: I knew it! I said it was the Daleks. They’re very late. It must have been exciting for the kids until they realised that they’d only see them for 10 minutes. Oh dear, they sound terrible. Is there a special edition with Briggsy doing the voices?
The Doctor finds himself in another cell. It’s getting to be a habit and we’ve run out of Jack Daniels.
Sue: The Doctor will escape by reversing the polarity. He always reverses the polarity.
The episode concludes with a confusing shoot-out and a Doctor who appears to be shitting himself.
Sue: I can’t believe this isn’t over yet. How many episodes is this really? Be honest.
Me: Well, technically, it’s 12…
A cushion hits me right between the eyes.
Sue: So I don’t have to mark it?
Me: No, you still have to mark it.
Sue: Is the next episode called Frontier in Space Episode Seven?
Me: No.
Sue: So, is this 12-parts or not?
Me: It’s two six-parters that run into each other.
Sue: Is that supposed to make me feel better?
The Final Score
Sue: These stories are far too long. Finding out that it isn’t even over yet doesn’t exactly help. If they had compressed that into four episodes, it would have been a seven, or maybe even an eight. But they blew it.
6/10
Sue: I still can’t believe it isn’t over. However, having said that, watching the Master work with the Daleks should be fun.
Addendum
As you know, we won’t be making it to the Gallifrey convention in Los Angeles this year. We had hoped to photograph Sue next to William Russell in a “They Should Have Called The Show ‘Ian’” t-shirt, but, alas, it was never meant to be. But wait! We now have an opportunity to get our hands on the next best thing. Please check out this blog and donate what you can so we can live vicariously through this fan. Cheers.
The next site update could be another week away. It’s just a very bad time at the moment. We’ll keep watching the episodes, though, so once things get back to normal, the updates could speed up a bit. We are very close to releasing some new merchandise too, so please stay tuned for that.
The experiment continues…
Addendum Addendum
Just when I thought that this week couldn’t get any worse, seconds before I hit the ‘Publish’ button for this entry, I received a phone call. Sue has been rushed to hospital with chest pains. This has almost certainly been brought on by the increasingly complicated Captain Jack saga, and, given her family history, they will be running some tests and keeping her in overnight. I’ll keep everyone updated via Twitter and our Facebook page. I’m sure she’ll be OK. She has to be – we have to finish Planet of the Daleks.
UPDATED: The Wife in Space in no longer the Wife in Hospital. She’s just been discharged and she’s going to be fine. Many thanks for your all kind wishes.
If you don’t already own this story, why not buy it on DVD? If you use the link below, we get a small cut, which will help pay for the site’s running costs. Many thanks for your support (UK residents only).
Doctor Who – Dalek War Box Set (Frontier in Space / Planet of the Daleks) [DVD]
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Well if you hadn’t said it, I would have. And I’d have to put in the actual pauses between words in that line’s horrible delivery too.
Get well soon, Sue (get well Sue-n)!
Wow, tough week. Best wishes to Sue, Captain Jack, and yourself, Neil.
Oh I hope Sue, you and Captain Jack make it through Spiridon alive. Get well soon x x x
Hoping you all get well soon! Whatever has “The Mutants” done to you all?!
Best wishes and lots of love to you all! Lisa + Andrew.
Here’s to a speedy recovery for all of you.
Get well soon, all of you.
At least Sue can look forward to getting footrubs for the next story, because it’s by you-know-who!
I hope Sue and Captain Jack are well.
Get well soon, Sue! Lay off the drinking games.
Get well soon guys. Missing you already!
I’m sure there will be plenty of loving footrubs over the next week, Terry Nation or no.
I’m chuffed to discover that someone else calls them ‘pikelets’ rather than ‘crumpets’! Unless, of course, you actually mean pikelets, and you call crumpets crumpets.
Er.
Best wishes to you all. May all your real-life cliffhangers be poorly-written peril-free ones!
Pikelets and crumpets are different: pikelets are thinner, toast quicker and are traditionally (in Nottinghamshire) eaten between Final Score and Doctor Who on a Saturday afternoon. Definitely with butter, and possibly with golden syrup or jam (or lemon curd).
I don’t know, the youth of today, don’t know anything…………and curlywurlys were bigger then as well.
And “Wagon-Wheels”. Today’s ones should be re-branded as “Skate-Wheels”.
(Terry Scott voice) “Masses and masses of chocklit for only fwee pee!”
Whatever happened to those tubes of sherbet with a licorice straw…
I *know*. Hence my surprise that someone else would refer to crumpets as pikelets (if that’s what Neil was doing). I was brought up calling crumpets pikelets, you see.
Although it’s nice to be referred to as ‘young’! Unless in your house you grew up calling ‘middle aged’ ‘young’. In either case, cheers!
Pikelets are like, (though not the same as) small pancakes, they’re made out of flour, eggs and milk. Pikelets are made in a fry pan.
Crumpets are flat with holes on the top and have yeast in them. Crumpets, well I can’t be arsed mucking around making crumpets, so I and most people buy them. They go in the toaster.
I like to have pikelets with maple syrup or jam.
But crumpets are more a savoury thing for me; butter and Vegemite on those.
See my reply above.
Best wishes to Sue, get well soon!
Damn, that’s not good. Get well soon, Sue.
Good to hear Sue is ok. Captain Jack, also. Hope all is ok. Best wishes to you all.
Glad to hear Sue is now out of hospital. In the hope that doing so isn’t indecent, a few thoughts about this review and the story:
More of my “Should be a t-shirt, but probably too long” comments…
1) “She should have been trained to – oh – right, she has been trained.”
2) “I notice that the Master doesn’t have any porn on his dashboard. He’s a class act.”
I was a little disappointed that Sue didn’t comment on my favourite moment from the Delgado Master, and maybe even the Pertwee, era. It’s the bit when the Master is following a space ship to Earth and the Ogron states in surprise that they are also going to Earth – a simply brilliant reaction from Roger, somehow managing to get anger, frustration, incredulity and humour all into the one little outburst at the stupid Ogron. Brilliant acting.
Does Sue know that this is the last Delgado story?
Almost certainly not, given that she expects the Master to be assisting the Daleks in the next 6 episodes (an amazing proposition that sadly, being a fan rather than a viewer-in-1973, I’d never thought of – but it’s obvious, on reflection).
I suppose we get some kind of resolution to the Master/Dalek partnership in the pre-credits of the McGann “TV Movie”… too little too late, and then some!
I feel the need to put on some Sir Francis Drake to see Roger D in his prime – and some of those are unseen by me, so – new Master!!! yay! And I’ve donated a little of my remaining cash to the Newwho fan gonig to Gally, because – Ian; might put on some Sir Lancelot too. It’s amazing that 40, 50, 60!! years later these fine fellas are still showing us their entertaining acting skills. Showing the kids how it should be done!
Thanks a million, Frankymole! I’ll do my best to do the shirt, actor, blog, etc. justice!
~whew!~ Finally caught up with the entire blog (within about a week). I love how Sue’s lack of expectations often have resulted in opinions that mirror mine, and yet at other times I’m firmly with Neil and the “accepted” opinion. It’s a joy to experience these with you again. There are a few I haven’t seen yet, so I get something different out of those posts, but overall, I’m having a blast here.
Glad Sue’s bad spell doesn’t seem to have been serious, and that all three ailing family members are on the mend!
Rats. I meant that last comment to go at the end of the page. Stupid “Back” button…
Oh thats a bummer of a trivia. Roger was such a fantastic Master.
Personally I like Frontier in Space tremendously Neil. Spiridon not as much, but Frontier is a 7.5 or 8. The Draconians were really good like Ice Warriors and classic Cybermen, the more the better!
Sadly I cant think of another really good villain coming up except for the medieval romp with jolly serving wenches…
Get well soon Sue! Lot’s of love from Germany
Good luck, both of you. I went into hospital for a one-off scan before Christmas and they kept me in for two weeks! Better safe than sorry. I totally feel for Captain Jack too. If anyone tried to shove a stick up my urethra I’d bite them. But at least having tinee hairy Ogrons in the telly must be fun. As to Ogron porn / pinups – do you think, like Dwarves in Tolkien, that the females look identical to the males (but with more hair)?
Dismayed and then relieved to hear Sue’s OK! If it will make Captain Jack feel better, tell him my cat’s an awful patient too. All of his mass converts to energy spontaneously if he’s approached after having one too many tests. It’s pretty frightening because there’s quite a lot of mass to begin with.
As always, you two manage to take a story I remembered as being pretty forgettable and making it something I want to watch again RIGHT NOW. I’m building up quite a backlog of those.
Get well soon, Sue and Captain Jack.
Really sorry to hear about all your misfortunes over the last week, and I hope that you are all firmly on the mend. Frontier in Space is not a story that I am very fond of, chiefly due to the faults you and Sue pinpoint in this post, but I didn’t realise it could have that bad an effect on its viewers…
Anyway, many thanks Neil for fighting through the pain to deliver a post that’s far more entertaining than the story it covers. Lots of great quotes, but I think “it’s Battle of the Beards” would be my T-shirt choice…
Get well soon, all three of you! And you have a definite t-shirt in “I notice that the Master doesn’t have any porn on his dashboard. He’s a class act.”
best wishes to all recovering from the states. Poor old Captain Jack, I’ve had a cat that had that problem, and got close to death as well. Once treated we have another 5 years of his company, so i hope you’re as lucky. Hope that you and Sue are better as well.
So sorry to hear of all your troubles this week but hopefully all will be ok now – and you’ll all get well soon. An enjoyable review too, of a story that I have only managed to watch in its entirety once, about 20 years ago. I simply can’t bear it. Still, if Sue can get through it with good grace, the least I can do is try it one more time.
Oooh… I’m sorry to see you’ve all had such trouble to put up with lately. After many back injuries I can totally sympathise with you Neil – yes, pinched nerves anywhere in the spine can be complete agony. Poor Sue and Capt. Jack – it hasn’t been easy for any of you and I’m glad to hear that things are looking more positive now.
As for a T-shirt? Ummm… How about a nice, inoffensive: “At last, an alien you can give a close-up to without feeling embarrassed about it.”
Get well soon.
I was confined to bed for a couple of weeks a few years ago. Happily this coincided with discovering the joys of wifi broadband and Who in blobby pixellated 10min chunks on YouTube. Nostalgically wallowing my way through the 70s was highly therapeutic. Though I did it piecemeal, not in strict order. I’m not as hard as you lot!
Frontier? Enjoyable enough, but I’m not going to buy the scarf.
Draconians were a great concept – shame all we have of them is this and a snippet of backstory. If we get to hear Matt Smith saying “my life at your command”, I’ll be a happy bunny…
Incidentally – patriarchal, chauvinistic, dynastic (basically Chinese) lizardsss… You really must have played the drinking game for Sue not to grab some of that sociological action!
Never noticed the laser nipple before. Amazing, and this was years before Athena. Thankfully, or maybe we would have seen This Year’s Top SuperOgron with tennis racket scratching bum pinned above the thrust controls. Fnarr. No actually, bleurgh.
The Master (RIP) could have done with Einstein Ogron from DOTD – perhaps they could have whiled away the long journey playing chess and discussing plastic-bag theology…
Fun to see them all charging round the South Bank, presumably very early on a Sunday morning – hence no living statue artists, skatepunks, etc.
Oh, and re ep1 – cargo hold with yellow railings strongly reminiscent to me of cargo hold in Planet of Evil.
Quote of the week: “padding with a punchline”
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been having a rough time of it, and I’m alarmed about Sue’s health scare! I’m very relieved that she’s out of hospital and in the clear.
As for Frontier in Space, I’ve always rather liked it. It has too much padding and it gets a bit repetitive, but it does have a nice epic sweep to it and a sense of things going on in a larger universe that Who often lacks.
Very glad to hear Sue’s out of hospital and okay. What a week you’ve been having: get well soon to all of you, and thanks to Neil for heroic one-fingered typing. Lovely entry.
I hope you are all well. Well done for battling through real-life stuff to continue to bring such fantastic updates. Forget having any lines on T-shirts this time; if the Laser-Nipple-Woman image is copyright free, can we have that instead?!
Good to hear you’ve pulled through the worst – a universe without The Wife In Space doesn’t bear thinking about!
My mind has been actually blown by Sue’s idea for “The Two Masters” episode. How about a Three Masters, with a frail Delgado sitting inside a pyramid and commenting on the antics of Ainley and Simm? I wonder what a Masterly version of “so these are my replacements, a dandy and a clown” would have to be?
So these are my replacements, a dummy and a clone?
Addition to previous comment:
Strange that I instantly thought of an “Old Series” “The Three Masters”, with Delgado, Ainley and the Assassin/Traken model, without even considering the new series – which I presume would then be “The Five Masters”.
Get well soon you you all. Maybe moving onto Planet of the Daleks will wash away all the hurt and sickness you’re all feeling.
It’s a pity the Draconians never made another appearance on TV, they’re an excellent alien.
I had forgotten all the being locked up stuff, I just remember the being locked up on the Master’s ship with Jo recapping all the previous UNIT stories. I wonder if someone’s made a “previously on Doctor Who” using Jo’s dialogue.
Not much said about the Master finally managing to shoot the Doctor? Oh well, it’ll be recapped by Jo doing the faux voice over next story.
In fairness, that scene is so badly bungled it’s not easy to tell who has shot the Doctor!
Get well soon Captain Jack, Sue and Neil. Please; we (I) need you. I love the vivid imagery of Season Ten: fox skulls, John Friedlander masks and condoms. I cannot wait for The Green Death; only one of three Doctor Who stories to make me cry. And, Neil, when are you going to tell Sue about Roger Delgado?
I’ve had a trapped nerve in my neck and know the unrelenting pain it can be – for months and months. Stretching is the only way to releave it.
John Friedlander’s masks were some of the best work seen on Doctor Who. Without him the sontarans, ogrons, draconians and Davros wouldn’t have been as successful.
Oh dear! only just read the addedded addendum. Best wishes to Sue. Put your feet up and don’t get stressed by the next story.
“Oh dear, he’s got his leg caught in one of the strings.”
Sue!
I’m laughing so much that you’ve given ME chest pains.
PS Is Cap. Jack the cat?
Glad to hear Sue is on the mend, but sorry to hear that Captain Jack is still a bit poorly.
I’m also glad to see that I wasn’t the only one filled with dread at the thought of 6 more episodes. In fact, when the Prof ‘fessed up to that when we were watching it, my wade through the Pertwee era ended for a few months as I just couldn’t cope with any more. Sue’s nowhere near such a lightweight…
Hope the three of you all get better soon. And that Nicol isn’t trying to bump you all off so she can have the house to herself.
Very relieved Sue is fine. And the good Captain.
Frontier for me is a lot like Colony. Starts off fine, I wonder why a lot of people (me included) doesn’t like it much, then gradually I get ground down by the repetition and boredom. Most definitely one of those stories that would’ve been better in 4.
Speaking of which, an even better example coming up…
I fell asleep on the khazi. Did I miss much?
Blimey what a week for you all. Hope everyone is better soon. We’ll all be here when you feel ready to start again.
Take some time off. The invisible daleks can wait.
I’ll miss your company, but it sounds like you all need a bit of you time.
Lordy, you had some trials this week. Glad you’re all better.
Odd story this one. I have no childhood memory, other than the Target book – which made it seem excellent. I suspect if I had seen it as 5-6 year old I would have been thrilled.
Having only caught up with it in the 90s it does, as Sue says, seem ‘very 70s’…in the way 70s sci-fi seemed very futristic at the time. I like it a lot though, it tries hard….but as usual, once the Master and the Daleks turn up it seems to ‘shrink’ a bit..i.e the Who universe gets a bit smalller and cheaper. ‘Planet of the Daleks’ I love a lot more , however, nicely blending in to the same space-op genre….look forward to that one. Also, loving Neil’s emerging childhood memories of the show at this point.
Add my best wishes for a speedy recovery to the others.
SInce your vet’s office seems to be understocked where it comes to the latest in feline bondage paraphenalia, may I recommend the kitty muzzle: http://www.chemistdirect.co.uk/mikki-kalm-cat-muzzle_1_165043.html
I used something similar when my “fractious” cat needed a daily subcutaneous fluid drip.
Never thought I’d compare Planet Of The Daleks favourably with anything, but at least with next week’s tribulations, you’ll have forgotten it five minutes after the end of episode six.
I hope all, two-legs and four-legs, are on the road to recovery
Last night here in Oz on ABC1 they had a comedy called Outland about a gay science fiction fan club and the lives, loves and never-ending dramas of its five members. With some occasional references to Daleks, stairs and whovian things.
If you can find it anywhere on t’internet I’d strongly recommend it, I think Sue would absolutely love it
Regards
Ged
Well, this one kind of dragged on and on, then the surprise at the end with the Daleks, and hey, it’s not over yet! I did, however, like the Draconian’s makeup/prosthetics, which were very impressive. The costumes were a bit rubbish though. What was up with that sculpted turkish shoulder gear for the Draconians? And how come everyone from earth’s future seems to like stand up high curved collars? Thought those went out of fashion during Shakespeare’s time. And how about those pajama outfits for the prisoners on the moon. If that was their uniform, did they change into other pajamas at night?
Really laughed when the Doctor was asked if he was going to a fancy dress party in the first episode… Also there was this black newsreader (Louis Mahoney) from earth who had a few lines in the first episode, I looked him up and turns out he played Old Billy (the guy in the hospital bed) in Blink. And he was also in Planet of Evil.
They all seemed so eager to use the Mind Probe in these stories. I noticed the one from Earth was pretty fancy, it had visuals so you could actually see what was on the Doctor’s mind (mostly I recall a spinning TARDIS). That would sure come in handy (LOL!), but it’s a little too hard to believe. And later, when the Draconians told the Doctor they would use the mind probe on the Orgons, the Doctor says something like: “well, that would be a waste of time, they have such little intelligence there is hardly any mind to probe at all!” Ain’t that the truth.
Jo got to advance the women’s libber cause when the Draconians didn’t want to let her speak… she really made herself useful here and was more back in character than in the last story. Plus she figured out how to resist the Master’s hypnotic trance…
Also laughed about the Master reading War of the Worlds by HG Wells while his space craft was flying about.
6/10 is about right. Too long, lots of running around and characters being shifted in and out of that jail cell. However, sad that this is the last we see of Roger Delgado as the Master, as he was killed in a car accident shortly after the last episode of Frontier in Space aired.
Very nice catch with Louis Mahoney. Good job, I’d never noticed that before.
Men still put up porn on the walls when Thatcher was PM
A bit behind with this, but I hope that Sue, Neil and Captain Jack are in the rudest health
On the subject of Captain Jack, would it be appropriate to suggest a T-shirt design featuring John Barrowman hitting a high not: “They didn’’t seem to understand why Jack wanted to bite them whenever they tried to stick a rod up his penis”. Possibly overlong, (the caption, not the penis), but certainly one to amuse, hopefully.
High *note*, sorry! (Doh!)