Peladon and on and on and on and on…
Part One
Sue: Peladon… Peladon… The name definitely rings a bell…
I sigh. For lots of different reasons.
Sue: Oh yeah, Peladon. I remember now. What have we come back here for? Peladon’s a shit-hole.
Things immediately get off to a very ropey start…
Sue: It’s Mad Max with badgers.
The miners of Peladon are attacked by an unseen force and they run away, in fear of the almighty Aggedor.
Sue: Oh yes, Aggedor. It’s all coming back to me now. It was a giant boar, wasn’t it?
Sometimes, this blog just writes itself.
Sue: I wasn’t very impressed the first time we visited Peladon. Why have we come back? They had better have a good reason for it.
In the citadel’s throne room, Sue only has eyes for one character. And no, it it’s not the queen you’re thinking of.
Sue: How S&M is this guy? Can they really get away with that? Wow. Gary would like him, though, he looks like one of the bouncers at Man Bar.
The TARDIS arrives on Peladon, off-course and about 50 years too late.
Sue: I thought the Doctor had a working TARDIS these days? Make your bloody mind up! Does it work or doesn’t it?
The miners of Peladon lament their terrible working conditions, but Sue is far more engrossed by their uniforms.
Sue: You know, this is like Game of Thrones but…
Me: But with less incest. You really have to stop using that joke.
Sue: No! With more incest! That’s why they all have the same hairstyle. They must interbreed or it wouldn’t make any sense. Unless Peladon has a branch of hairdressers that specialises in Badger Set and Blow Drys?
Me: It looks like someone threw a bottle of Tipp-Ex at Kevin Keegan.
Sue: At least it keeps their ears warm in the winter, so it’s not all bad news. And they could always form a Mungo Jerry tribute band if they lost their jobs.
The Pel miners’ hair will inevitably become an endless source of fascination for Sue, which is more than you can say for the plot. But the thing that annoys her the most is the constant switching between film and video.
Sue: It’s very jarring. Why can’t they just chose a style and stick with it? It’s putting me right off. It’s especially noticeable when they switch from film to video on the same set. Why did they do that? And what the hell is actually going, on by the way? I’m lost already.
After filling her in on the basics of the plot that she’s missed (it’s difficult for her to concentrate on politics when men are parading around in skirts that short), Sue finally identifies the real-life context for this particular story.
Sue: Oh, so this is about the miners’ strikes in the 1970s, is it? Is the Queen supposed to represent Margaret Thatcher?
Me: Thatcher doesn’t come to power for years.
Sue: Maybe Thatcher is the strange woman in the purple dress who stands at the back doing nothing.
Me: It’s either that or a very subtle crossover with Sapphire and Steel.
Sue: So is the Queen supposed to be Ted Heath, then? She’s prettier than Ted Heath.
Me: Yes, well she is a lot easier on the eye.
Sue: She looks like Amy Pond.
Me: Although the streak of grey hair is very Ted Heath.
It appears that a terrible war is raging between the Federation and the mysterious Galaxy 5.
Sue: Who are Galaxy 5 when they’re at home? And why does that ring a bell? Should I know what that means?
Me: You’re thinking of Galaxy 4. They come from the galaxy next door.
Sue: They sound like a boy band. Or maybe a local radio station.
Eckersley, the human mining expert who has been sent to Peladon to extract the mineral needed to fuel the Federation’s war, also rings a bell with Sue.
Sue: He’s definitely been in Doctor Who before.
Me: Very good, I’m impressed. It’s Donald Gee and he was in The Space Pirates.
Sue: The only reason I remember him is because he looks like Jasper Carrot and I can remember somebody looking like Jasper Carrot once before. So it had to be him.
Toby Hadoke, eat your heart out.
The miners continue to debate their miserable lot, but Sue is only half-listening to them.
Sue: Maybe their hair is extra-bouncy and rocks don’t hurt them when they fall on their heads? Perhaps it’s an evolutionary thing?
When Sarah is introduced to Alpha Centauri, she almost has a heart attack. The hermaphrodite hexapod profusely apologises for its appearance.
Sue: Yeah, it’s not my fault I look like a giant dick. Do you know how many times I’ve had to go through the “I’m sorry that I look like a giant dick” conversation? It’s depressing.
And then, a little later:
Sue: If Steven Moffat brought back Alpha Centauri, do you think the BBC would tell him off?
And then, just as Sue begins to drift off completely, this happens:
Sue: Who gave him an Equity Card? I’ve seen Nativity plays with better performances. He must be related to one of the production team. It’s the only explanation that makes sense.
The episode concludes with the Doctor confronted by an apparition of Aggedor.
Sue: Crash-zooming the camera like that doesn’t make it any better.
Me: I can vividly remember watching this cliffhanger when I was four years old. It terrified me. I have this incredibly strong memory where I flatly refuse to visit my great-aunt after my mother told me she had a new Labrador. I thought she said Aggedor. I remember being horrified that a member of my family would have access to a monster from Doctor Who as a pet, and I refused to leave the house. I was an easily confused child.
Sue: You’re an easily confused adult.
Part Two
Sue: The giant dick is reflecting a lot of glare. It’s far too shiny. Did somebody polish the top of its helmet before they started filming?
Suddenly, an electronic voice excitedly announces that there has been an unauthorised explosion in the mine.
Sue: Have they got a Dalek working the switchboard?
As the inhabitants of Peladon run around like headless chickens, Sue is drawn to the stencils that adorn the planet’s walls and curtains.
Sue: Did they get Rolf Harris to design their logos? “Can you guess what it is yet?” Oh, it’s a pig.
The Doctor claims to have returned to Peladon because he has a special interest in the planet.
Sue: Since when? What is there to be interested in? It’s a boring shit-hole! Does the Doctor pop back to all the planets he’s saved to check up on them? And if he does, how does he ever get there?
An epic fight scene between the miners follows, and while I hope that Sue will appreciate the skills of Terry Walsh, she’s distracted by something else entirely.
Sue: One of those guards is wearing a g-string.
As Sarah investigates Peladon’s refinery, we see something mysterious lurking behind a window.
Sue: Am I supposed to know what that is?
Me: You could make an educated guess.
Sue: Is it the Daleks? Is that why we heard one earlier?
Me: No.
Sue: Is it…
Me: Don’t even joke about it.
Sue: …the Yeti?
Sadly, the studio lighting continues to annoy Sue…
Sue: It’s too brightly lit for a giant penis. They should have stuck the penis in the mine so no one could see it properly.
When a miner named Ettis attacks Alpha Centauri with a sword, Sue is horrified.
Sue: He’s going to castrate him!
The Doctor and Sarah are arrested for something or other, but the religious gobbledygook flies over Sue’s head because she’s far too busy checking out Aggedor’s statue, and his tummy in particular.
Sue: Aggedor could do with losing a little weight. Have you seen the size of his sagging belly? He’s almost as fat as our cats.
Chancellor Ortron declares that the Sarah and the Doctor have committed blasphemy, and they are thrown into a deep, dark pit for their troubles.
Sue: That won’t be very good for Jon Pertwee’s knees.
The Doctor and Sarah can hear a large animal approaching in the darkness, and then Aggedor suddenly makes a run for them.
Sue: We’ve seen this cliffhanger before. It’s exactly the same cliffhanger as the other story! Why do they feel the need to repeat themselves? Why don’t they write something new? Why?
This seems like as good a place as any to introduce Sue to Doctor Who‘s production codes, and how this story probably sports the most appropriate code of all: YYY.
Sue: Hang on a minute, how bad is the next story going to be?
Part Three
As Aggedor runs towards the Doctor and Sarah, Sue has a suggestion…
Sue: Just hypnotise him!
Me: Don’t you start!
Sue: It’s what the Doctor did the last time he was in this situation. You have to sing Christmas carols to it.
And that’s exactly what the Doctor does.
Sue: We’ve seen this before. Boring!
Eckersley convinces Alpha Centauri to call for Federation reinforcements.
Sue: I don’t trust Eckersley at all. He’s a shit stirrer.
When Sarah gives Queen Thalira a lesson in Women’s Lib, Sue enjoys the scene a lot, especially the line “There’s nothing only about being a girl’, and the fact that Sarah won’t let men to tell her what to do. It is a great scene.
But it is completely undercut a few minutes later when this happens:
Sue: Unbelievable.
As the mystery surrounding the inhabitant of the locked refinery mounts, Sue tries to take part in the investigation.
Sue: Should I know who it is?
Me: Yes.
Sue: Is it the Ice Warriors?
Me: What? I mean, yes! Wow. You got there in the end.
Sue: Once I thought about it, and I stopped being flippant, it was pretty obvious.
As this episode continues to limp on, Sue hits the proverbial nail on the head.
Sue: There is a lot of talking in this story. Is it just me or is it really boring? I’m running out of things to say about it.
Me: No, it isn’t just you. In fact, I think it was John Williams who once said that the only extra feature this story needs is a wrap of speed.
As Gebek tries to maintain order with the revolting miners, Sue is drawn to his northernness.
Sue: He’s like Arthur Scargill. But with better hair. I’m just surprised that he doesn’t call Eckersley, Eckerslike.
Meanwhile, the Doctor claims to have some serious suspicions…
Sue: Someone in the script department has it in for Jon Pertwee. Somebody is surreptitiously selecting several S’s so he sounds silly.
Me: Now you’re doing it.
The Federation reinforcements radio in and they sound suspiciously like the Ice Warriors.
Sue: It’s definitely the Ice Warriors.
The episode concludes with – yes, you guessed it! – an Ice Warrior.
Sue: Told you.
Part Four
The Ice Warriors place Peladon under martial law.
Sue: Martian law?
Me: Close enough.
Sue: Is the reason that they made this story again because they had all the costumes and sets sitting in storage? That’s the real reason, isn’t it? I mean, who was crying out for a sequel to the last one set on Peladon? It doesn’t make any sense.
The Ice Lord, Azaxyr, proceeds to provide a concise and pithy summary of the plot so far.
Sue: That was very helpful. Thanks. He should turn up at the beginning of every episode to fill in all the bits I may have missed.
In fact, Azaxyr remains a constant source of fascination for Sue.
Sue: How come he can talk reasonably OK, while all the other Ice Warriors sound asthmatic? That doesn’t seem very fair.
The Doctor asks Sarah if the Ice Warrior silhouette she saw through the refinery’s window matches that of Sskel, the Ice Warrior currently guarding them.
Sue: How can she possibly tell? They all look the same to me.
Me: Racist.
She changes the subject.
Sue: I had a jacket just like Sarah Jane’s when I was 12.
Sue: You dressed like Sarah Jane?
Sue: Yes, we were both very trendy, what can I say? I’m not convinced by her Christmas jumper, though. I wouldn’t have been seen dead in a jumper like that.
As Ettis riles the miners up into a frenzy, Sue spots a familiar face.
Sue: It’s Burt the miner! You know! From the one with the giant maggots.
Me: The one with the giant maggots? Really? After all this time, that’s all we get? The one with the giant maggots?
Sue: Does this actor always play miners? Is he the go-to guy when the BBC need someone to pretend to be a miner?
The Doctor manages to persuade the miners to return to work and things begin to settle down.
Sue: THE END!
But no, we’re only just over halfway through this story. It truly is a harrowing thought.
Sue: I like the way the Doctor is wearing a lot of green in this story. It’s almost as if he knew the Ice Warriors were going to show up and he didn’t want to clash with them.
The Doctor decides to turn up the heat, which will inevitably result in the Ice Warriors feeling groggier and groggier…
Sue: I know just how they feel.
The Doctor rushes off to stop Ettis who has positioned a sonic lance in the direction of the citadel. But before he goes, Gebek hands the Doctor a sword.
Sue: Why did the Doctor accept that weapon? That’s not a very Doctorish thing to do, is it? But then again, he does like a good swashbuckle.
And, would you believe it, that’s exactly what he get because Ettis – who is quite literally as mad as a badger – threatens to destroy everyone. The resultant fight is very interesting for all the wrong reasons.
Sue: Who the hell is that? Did Jon Pertwee just regenerate in the middle of a fight scene?
After head-butting the Doctor in the balls, Ettis switches on the lance. But Azaxyr has already booby-trapped it and the machine blows up in the mad miner’s face.
Sue: Do you think Pertwee was far enough away from that explosion?
Me: Yeah, I bet he was in the BBC canteen by that point.
Part Five
Sue: I knew Eckerslike was in on it. Pfft.
Part Six
After a slow, and frankly tedious, Part Five (although Sue did enjoy the cliffhanger), we attempt to rouse ourselves for one last journey to Peladon.
Sue: Eckerslike always has his hands in his pockets. Never a trust a man who never takes his hands out of his pockets.
The Doctor uncovers Eckersley’s weaponised Aggedor statue, which he teleports to some miners so he can gain their trust.
Sue: Wouldn’t it be funny if the Doctor’s elbow accidentally landed on the big red button and he killed them all?
It would, if only the Doctor didn’t spend several minutes calmly murdering Ice Warriors.
Sue: This Doctor really doesn’t give a hoot for the sanctity of life, does he? He’ll kill just about anything given half the chance.
Eckersley halts the Doctor’s killing spree with his sonic security system, and at one point the Doctor looks like he’s being attacked by a mobile disco.
Sue: It looks like the Doctor is going to regenerate. Actually, when does this Doctor regenerate? We can’t be far off now.
I look at my watch.
Me: In just under three minutes.
Sue actually sat up when I said this.
Sue: Really? He regenerates at the end of this episode? Why didn’t you tell me?
Me: I wanted to keep it a surprise.
Sue: Oh, I’m really excited now. It’s not a great story to go out on, though. Regenerating in front of a giant cock. That’s not good.
As Sarah rushes off to visit the Doctor’s corpse, Sue comes to a startling conclusion.
Sue: So, was Eckerslike a last-minute replacement for the Master? Was it supposed to be his arch-enemy who killed him but they had to change it? That would make a lot of sense.
Me: Yes, in fact, Eckersley becomes the Doctor’s arch-nemesis from this point on. I will be changing the counter on the homepage to say ‘Is It Eckerslike?’ very soon.
As Sarah weeps, Sue is bludgeoned into submission by the scene’s emotional heft.
Sue: He died for some stupid badgers. This is actually quite sad…
The Doctor sits bolt upright in his chair.
The cushion in the face was worth it.
The Doctor doesn’t seem to be bothered by Sarah’s tears.
Sue: What a ****. Both of you.
Meanwhile, Queen Thalira is being harassed by the Ice Warriors. She doesn’t seem all that bothered to be honest.
Sue: She doesn’t vary her performance at all. She looks very nice but that’s about it.
In a last-ditch attempt at securing his freedom, Eckersley kidnaps Queen Thalira and the Doctor sends the real Aggedor after him. The poor thing is promptly shot in the head, but not before he manages to maul the mad mineralogist to death.
Queen Thalira thanks the Doctor for his actions. “We are forever in your debt,” she tells him.
Sue: Yes, you have saved us a small fortune in vet bills.
The episode concludes with the Doctor scolding Sarah before he drags her into the TARDIS by her ear. And, just like she was a naughty schoolgirl, Sarah giggles.
Sue: What a fantastic role model for feminism. Good grief.
The Final Score
Sue: That was tedious. I mean, what was the point? We’ve seen it all before. And it was shorter last time, too! I despair.
2/10
The experiment continues…
Stuff
Just a bit of business before I conclude this update. First of all, please keep the audio clips and questions coming in for the retrospective podcast I have planned. We’ve already received a couple of fantastic entries so far. Full instructions can be found at the end of the last update and the deadline for your submissions is: Thursday March 15th. The best and most creative submissions will win a mug.
Secondly, I have created a poll where you can vote on which Fourth Doctor episode you think we should tackle as a video commentary. You can vote for the story you’d like to hear Sue wax lyrical about on this blog’s sidebar to the right.
And finally, here’s a lovely picture of Neowhovian confusing the hell out of William Russell during the recent Gallifrey convention (click for a larger version):
If you don’t own this story, why not buy it on DVD? If you use the link below, we get a small cut, which will help pay for the site’s running costs. Many thanks for your support (UK residents only).
Doctor Who: Peladon Tales (The Curse of Peladon / The Monster of Peladon) [DVD]
Price: £11.50
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Eep! That was a bit of a surprise, seeing myself as I scrolled down to make notes for an eventual comment…
~ahem~
I bloody LOVE “It’s Mad Max with badgers.” Definite merchandising opportunity there. So’s “Toby Hadoke, eat your heart out.”
And you really shouldn’t lead Sue on so, you naughty thing.
What an amazing pic! William Russell just doesn’t change, does he. Ian still takes it all in his stride!
He was wonderful. I felt really honored to have met him. Of course, the guy in front of me in line was even more eager, so it was kind of infectious.
That’s quite lovely! William Russell sitting next to a T-shirt I designed. Very nice.
Glad to have had a hand in making it happen!
I’ve voted for 4P, but I’m very worried that the pressure of a audio commentary will spoil it. Hope you can watch the episodes again if you miss too much.
It’s got to be 4P, hasn’t it? The others are just sitting targets; there’ll be much more fun to be had in winding up Gallifrey Base when Sue utterly fails to get any of it.
I bet she’ll like it though…
I’m sure there are particular bits she’ll love, especially if she’s got used to David Maloney-spotting by this point; she just won’t be able to relate them to each other, or place them in context with anything that’s going on.
I don’t know if Sue’s comprehension is that bad?!!
The Deadly Assassin’s current standing comes from being the cornerstone of all the mythology that followed, but it’s not a good piece of storytelling – without that crucial grounding, which didn’t exist in 1976, there will be no reference points for Sue to latch onto. She *will not* get it, and as the casual viewer, she’ll be in the right.
It’s rather like The Daemons – the only reason fandom has taken that one to heart, instead of treating it as a warm-up to The Time Monster, is because everyone has seen and heard all the documentary anecdotes of how it was the cast and crew’s favourite to make, and believes itself to have been invited to the same party.
Is it really a good idea? We know from “The Three Doctors” that, because they can’t pause and rewind bits, that Sue ends up not being able to follow all of the plot because they’re talking over it. I don’t think that’d really work for 4P.
What’s needed is one where you don’t have to pay too much attention to the plot, but which is still lots of fun.
Arthur Eckersley and the Flying Pels…
I honestly don’t think I can remember a damn thing about this one apart from the sense of “oh we’re back here again, and this time the Ice Warriors really are the goons”. Suppose the team may have thought that a sludgy backwards reference was a good idea given what was to come next.
4P – yeah. Well, it’s almost bound to win on grounds of canonicity (if there is such a word), but it’s far from my favourite Tom Baker story. I’d prefer one of the consummate gothic numbers myself. Those I can watch again and again – I have, erm, hang on a minute, 4G, 4K and 4S on my iPhone.
Do we *have* to talk in production numbers?
Courtesy to Neil – on the off-chance Sue should read anything below the line…
Yes, why are we talking in production codes? The titles in question are sitting on the sidebar and contain no spoilers that I am aware of….
Okay, sorry. I was referring to Pyramids, Morbius and Talons.
MoP was a real snoozefest, but the most entertaining review so far. A story guaranteed to test the patience of devoted fans and newbies alike.
I must make sure not to watch this one again. I used to love it, and don’t want to trash the memory!
Perhaps I liked it as this was my first Peladon tale, so it seemed fresh. The ideas around a technologically and politically unsophisticated society coming to grips with high technology, and the mining politics both grabbed me. What an odd kid I must have been…
Seeing ‘Curse’ a lot later on, it was like a fever dream version of this, especially with Arcturus. Freaky!
You’re not alone; I loved the Peladon stories as a kid, too, and have a dim memory of writing yet another sequel starring the Fifth Doctor and his companions. So I guess I’m admitting to having written fanfic, but all of it G-rated and before puberty, which from what I understand is sort of opposite how that usually works.
I’m pretty sure they won’t have aged well for me when I finally rewatch them. This one in particular is likely to be a chore. If I could swap the queen from Monster of Peladon out for the queen from Curse of Peladon I could just pretend this one never existed.
Which particular queen in The Curse of Peladon are you referring to?!
I’m referring to the character David Troughton played.
I vote for this on a t-shirt: “What have we come back here for? Peladon’s a shit-hole.”
It’s not speed the story needs at all, it’s a dose of mushrooms. With a snake. And that joke was STILL less derivative than anything that goes on here.
It would be a shame if 4P won the poll, as it’s too good to waste by distracting Sue with a talking commentary – she missed half of The Three Doctors last time. Better suited to something silly so we can enjoy Sue’s reaction to a giant prawns or a double entendre blob monster… Remember folks, this isn’t about the best story, but which will provide the most entertaining commentary.
Amen!
Although I’d be happy with any of the options presented! There’s lots of promise in them all. Any chance that we could have two 4th Doctor commentaries, because he was so long in the role and the show’s style varied quite so much?
No? Oh well.
Am I missing something from the opening few moments of this (again, excellent) commentary? Aggedor *was* a giant boar, wasn’t he?
Oh! It sounds like “bore”!
How appropriate for a story about mining, I suppose.
I voted to hear how impressed she’ll sound.
Do we really need another audio commentary? I was looking forward to reading THE THREE DOCTORS comments and was disappointed when there was nothing in writing. And I have steel knees, which makes it worse.
You can’t please everyone all the time. Double that for Doctor Who fans.
I think Sue hit the nail on the head: obviously spent too much money on the original story, so just had to use the costumes/sets again. It’s the only reason possible. Isn’t it? Don’t say someone at the Beeb actually thought this was any good?
I lived in a mining village all of my youthful life, so the miners-strike analogy always bypasses me. No-one I knew ever had badger-like hair (except the badgers) and the nearest S&M gay bar was miles aways (such a hike back on a Sunday morning don’t-yer-know). If the really wanted them to look like Arthur Scargill, they should have given them thinning ginger hair……
For the talking thing, I’d recommend 4T, because of the mix of companions, the set design, the guest acting, it is sometimes good, sometimes terrible, and never boring., it tries hard, and has special effects from the sublime to the extra-special. The only snag with 4T is that, coming at it in transmission order, it is an unexpected style of story.
Voted for TCFTP purely for entertainment purposes! How come those are the options, Neil? Do you pick 4 or 5 at random, or do you pick your favourites which we can then vote on?
As for this story… my GOD it’s dull. Love the write-up for episode 5!
“As for this story… my GOD it’s dull.”
Oh god, and having bit the bullet and finally bought “Time and the Rani” from HMV last week this is now the only surviving “classic” Who story I don’t own on DVD or VHS. Not really looking forward to it now (not that I was to begin with)
I’m afraid I can see precious little similarity between Her Majesty Queen Thalira and the late Mr. Edward Heath. The notion that he might have sat on a fun fur surrounded by hulking, muscular fellows in leather is frankly absurd. Other than that, to-day’s summation has been marvellously pithy as Mr Jon Pertwee might have said.
Maybe not so absurd – he was “a confirmed bachelor”…
Umm – I think that was what Auntie Celia was trying to say …
Neil’s got the T-shirt this week: “It looks like someone threw a bottle of Tipp-Ex at Kevin Keegan.”
What a sublime visual…
Oh, and I voted for “The Sontaran Experiment” because no one else will (watch them all flock to it now, though)
It’s one of my favourite Toms (nostalgia) and I want to hear Sue’s reaction to the sadism…
“He’s like Arthur Scargill. But with better hair.”
That has to go on a t-shirt! Like Sue, I can imagine the miners going around calling Eckersley Eckerslike – did Brian Hayles deliberately choose a northern-sounding name, I wonder? I was also impressed to see that she recognised poor old Bert from The Green Death. What a shame that he once again comes to a sticky end…
This was a very fun post, particularly Sue falling hook, line and sinker for the regeneration that never was – as Neil says, most definitely worth a little cushion-related pain. Mind you, I think 2 is way too harsh a verdict. This isn’t the most exciting or original story, it’s true, but I have seen far worse and both Alpha Centauri and the Ice Warriors give pretty good value. It’s true that Curse didn’t really need a sequel, but it was a popular story and so you can see why Letts and Dicks were tempted to reuse the sets.
I have voted for 4P in the poll, not because I think it’s the best story ever (I don’t, not by a long chalk) but because it is so different and surreal, not to say somewhat expectation-confounding, that I would love to hear Sue’s immediate reactions to it. Having said that, an Invisible Enemy commentary would also make for a good, fun listen.
By the way, love the William Russell/Neowhovian photo! I’d love to know what his reaction was to the t-shirt…
He didn’t seem to know quite what to make of it. I actually had that photo autographed later, and tried to explain to him what it was all about. He just kind of chuckled and “oh”ed as if he was humoring me because he really didn’t get it. Or because he thought it was to harsh on Hartnell/the Doctor. I suspect the former.
But when I told him I’d love Ian since I first saw him, and thanked him, he perked up, and acted both surprised and gratified.
The man’s 87. Maybe I talked too fast, and too American.
Thanks for that. Whatever he did think, he sounds like a true gentleman!
Absolutely. He was wonderful and gracious and just a joy to have in the same room, whether it was on a panel or a direct interaction like a photo or autograph. I feel honored to have met him.
Another winner. I’d say ‘Can’t go wrong with a giant cock,’ but as I said back when I reviewed the Peladon Tales, if ever there was proof that it’s not how big it is but what you do with it, it’s this overlong ‘adventure’. Unlike Sue, I love the first Peladon story, but I’m with her here.
“How S&M is this guy?”
Blor may have the look, but I immediately thought of Azaxyr and Willy (as Eckerslike is known in our flat).
I love the naturally evolving miners’ helmets. Though you’d probably not sell many “Do you know how many times I’ve had to go through the “I’m sorry that I look like a giant dick” conversation? It’s depressing.” T-shirts, it’s worth a try.
Neil wins for this week, though. Fantastic Labrador memory, and that killingly funny regeneration moment. Well, I say ‘this week’ – you’re doing them daily, now, aren’t you?
“It’s too brightly lit for a giant penis. They should have stuck the penis in the mine so no one could see it properly.”
Now, that could have been much ruder if you’d thought of some synonyms for “mine”.
A couple of paragraphs later:
“deep, dark pit”
See?
The Part Five summary made me laugh, but shame – not enough Alpha Centauri. What, no “Thank you, Eckersley, but you are still a traitor.” Totally fabulous! Or, earlier, that most butch of all heroic moments: “I shall summon assistance. [pause] Help! Guards! Aaahh!” And never mind the giant penis – isn’t it Part Five that has the Universe’s largest screw, too?
Oh, and I hope the next video commentary isn’t for 4P – it’s my favourite story, and I prefer to read the in-depth pieces on the good ones. Though I love 5G [I had to look that up – clearly, these votes require a certificate in advanced fandom] and voted for it, that’d surely be the best one to hear Sue’s full-blooded reaction…
Though, having looked them up, “YYY” isn’t necessarily the most appropriate story code. Looking at what’s coming out today, “4Q” has a ring to it, as in ‘The Day God Went Mad: 4Q, Mary Whitehouse!’
4 God’s Sake…?
If anyone here hasn’t had to look them up, I salute them. 5G, if I remember right, gives the giant green one-eyed bulbous thing in a roll-neck a run for its money in the green phallus stakes…
XXX was definitely Robert Holmes’ response when Terry ran off to Moonbase 3 and left him with Death To The Daleks as his first editing job.
I do hope the story that Holmes gave “Death to the Daleks” its title, owing to the strong dislike he felt for Skaro’s finest, is true…
I voted for “The Android Invasion” just so I could hear Sue’s reaction when the eye-patch is removed…and “Terry F****** Nation”, of course!
Ditto – it’ll also be fun when the Doctor visits Brigadier Alistair… er, not there.
I liked the Curse of Peladon a lot more than Sue did, but she’s spot on with this on – just a dull, overlong rip-off, the equivalent of a cash-in sequel to a blockbuster movie. But on the plus side, the worse the episode, the more entertaining these reviews are, and this is definitely one of the best.
Neil’s memory is scary but…
“I was an easily confused child.”
“You’re an easily confused adult.”
gets my vote for quote of the show.
p.s. I, too, prefer the written commentaries to the podcasts.
After Sue didn’t like the first Peladon story I wasn’t expecting a high score, but 2? Even The Chase managed a 5! I wonder if fatigue is setting in and she’s not being as lenient as she once was?
I made the mistake of reading this during my lunch at work. I was getting strange looks whilst stifiling laughter at:
“The giant dick is reflecting a lot of glare. It’s far too shiny. Did somebody polish the top of its helmet before they started filming?”
Talking of production codes:
Y – The Celestial Toymaker
YY – The Space Pirates
YYY – The Monster of Peladon
4Y – Underworld
6Y – Timelash
If it wasn’t for Kinda, that would be an extremely interesting statistical anomaly…
We also have KKK for a story about a race of fascists (“Day of the Daleks”)…
And The Mutants/The Time Monster, together = NNNOOO!
This is a brilliant game
Gary’s gay?
I think we all know EXACTLY why “Creature from the Pit” is currently in the lead. Personally I’m more inclined to go for “Deadly Assassin”, just to hear the reaction when Sue discovers who’s in it.
Oh, and how exactly does Sue know what the bouncers look like at Man Bar?
Because she’s been there.
Well, ask a silly question…
The “Terry F++king Nation” comment would be a superb item to capture again on a commentary, hence my vote for Android Invasion. As for YYY, couldn’t agree more with Sue’s vote. This has to be one of the most tedious pieces of television I have ever sat through.
I speak as someone who has sat through an episode of “The World of Pam Ayres”…
“Did Jon Pertwee regenerate in the middle of a fight scene?” had me spew my chilled beverage all over my work monitor. The accompanying photo of Terry Walsh helped sell that.
Plus, mad bonus points for the whole faking-Sue-into-thinking-that-the-Doctor-died-to-save-a-bunch-of-giant-badgers. One of the highlights of the whole experiment thus far!
Sadly, the climax to ZZZ will almost certainly be overshadowed by the passing of the lovely Phillip Madoc.
“The cushion in the face was worth it.”
That whole thing was great stuff!
Monster gets a 2 and likes it. Curse is decent but this is a tired retread.
It doesn’t ‘like’ it, it just can’t be bothered to complain about it.
Thought 2 a bit harsh, but everyone to thier own and the like.
Will the Proposed book have exclusive pages with the written up pieces for the audio commentary episodes?
Maybe thats a good thing to give the book an ooomph of something extra about it.
Thats if we are still up for a book
Pertwee’s undeniably on cruise control here. So even and unvaried. We should all be grateful that he decided to call it a day after the filming of this story.
I find this story quite entertaining when the regulars, the royal court and the Ice Warriors are on. It’s only the miner scenes that are dull.
And speaking of dull, a 4P commentary would not be appreciated by me. It’s the most tedious story, I can’t think it’d prompt much reaction (other than the obvious) from Sue apart from ‘why am I doing a video commentary on this one, it’s boring’. (Don’t foget though when you reach it to hide the closing credits of the first few episodes from her, they blow the reveal.)
Oh, and the writing for / characterisation of Alpha is actually much better in this one than in Curse.
It’s nice to find someone else who doesn’t like 4P (Deadly Assassin). It’s one of those stories, like Inferno or The Daemons, whose popularity rests more on its reputation, rather than its actual contents. OTOH it’s not dull. It’s just badly structured. Very, very, very badly structured.
Episode 1 is almost pure padding (get captured, escape again, run up and down a lot, etc.). It’s entertaining enough, but just marking time so the assassination can occur at the cliffhanger. All the detective story investigating the assassination is squeezed uncomfortably into Episode 2.
Episode 3 is more padding, and nothing but padding. Again, it’s entertaining, but it doesn’t really fit with the main whodunnit plot at all. There’s no reason the big reveal mat the end couldn’t have come at the end of Episode 2 instead.
And Episode 4 has the unenviable job trying to make sense of this mess, and doesn’t quite succeed. The end result is one of the least satisfying detective stories of all time,
With hindsight, the assassination should’ve come right at the start. Then the main detective story would have room to fill most of Episodes 1, 2 and 3, and be done properly. And there’d be less of a mess to sort out in Episode 4. The whole thing would’ve fitted together much better.
But, Deadly Assassin is the story Mary Whitehouse hated the most, so of course fans are going to love it no matter what it’s really like.
P.S. Sorry I’ve ranted on so long about a different story. But Monster Of Peladon is so dull, I can’t even think of anything to say about it.
If it weren’t for padding, you’d WANT to get out of bed in the morning.
I’m not sure how much time we should spend talking about The Deadly Assassin, but even if I agreed that the story was flawed in the ways and to the extents you describe, I enjoyed it long before and long after I knew it had a “reputation.” I respect your prerogative to buck what you perceive as the conventional wisdom, though I myself love almost everything about it.
Inferno’s a bit long, but otherwise ditto. The Daemons is my least favorite of the three, but I will say that being “well-crafted” ranks very low in my list of reasons why I like Doctor Who episodes.
Fandom HATED The Deadly Assassin at the time.
Jan Vincent-Rudszki (or whatever his name was) hated the way it contradicted earlier Time Lord stories, but vocal minorities (of one) do not fandom make.
Sometimes “padding” can be more than padding. A painting might not necessarily tell a story, but it can be compelling, engaging or communicate on some other level. I think this is the case for the parts set in The Matrix. If that’s just padding it’s still genius.
I enjoy Monster of Peladon, but this review is fun. It does really bring out Sue’s wit when she dislikes a story.
I like the comment about Aggedor being a giant bore.
To be fair here (maybe my comments sounded a bit blunt) I do appreciate the effort you go to for the audio commentaries. The problem is that with a job and a young family I don’t always have twenty minutes to put aside to listen to an audio commentary uninterrupted. I click on the blog and am happy to see it updated with a new story, only to find I have to wait a week or two before I can set aside the time to hear it. Being a fast reader I could have read a written version in just a few minutes.
Might I suggest perhaps doing both? I realise they may “clash” somewhat (I assume there’s probably some “tidying up” of the comments and grammer for the written blog) but it would satisfy both camps.
My knees would be eternally grateful. And I only have two left.
Some things in life are sent to try us. Like Time and the Rani.
Sadly, I too have a real life and I haven’t got the time to do both.
Luckily, video commentaries will only make up approx. 6% of the experiment and I also promise to release a transcript of the next video commentary for those of you with very busy lives. I hope that helps.
Thanks Neil, that will me 6% happier!
2/10 – Sue was generous.
I’ve decided to pass on this one. I didn’t like the first Peladon adventure, and especially didn’t like the one-eyed penis wrapped in a shower curtain. So I’ll leave it for when I run out of new classic Doctor Who episodes and I’ll still have a few to watch. Oh my. Sounds dreadful. And it doesn’t even have David Troughton in it to liven it up.
And why not. When I did my little rerun of 3 & 4 a couple of years back, I did it magpie fashion, filling in the iffy and meh ones at the end. Actually, I branched out into a few Trouts, Hartnells and Farnons before I got round to this one.