Part One On the frozen wastes of Kastria… Sue: Is this planet of the anoraks? A humanoid figure is tracking a spaceship on a computer screen. Sue: He’s playing the slowest game of Pong ever. This cold opening (sorry), which mainly features an asthmatic alien freezing its bollocks off, doesn’t do anything for Sue. Sue:…
Part One Sue: New font. I don’t like it. Me: It’s Cantoria Bold. Sue: It’s Cantoria Boring. The Doctor and Sarah are exploring the TARDIS when they stumble across its boot cupboard. Sue: So that’s where the Doctor keeps his own chroma studio. Look at all that lovely CSO. Sue isn’t impressed with the Doctor’s…
Part One Sue: Robert Banks Stewart. Does he exist? I recognise the name. Me: Yes, he exists. He wrote Terror of the Zygons. Sue: I liked Terror of the Zygons. Me: I know, but you try telling some of our readers that. Two men are gathering samples from a glacier in Antarctica when one of…
Part One Sue: Who’s Robin Bland? Me: Robin Bland doesn’t exist. Sue: Not again! So what happened this time? Me: Robert Holmes rewrote a Terrance Dicks script and Terry told him to take his name off it. He told him to replace his credit with a bland pseudonym. Sue: So this is a bad one,…
Part One Sue: Oh no… Me: Go on, then. Say your catchphrase. Sue: Actually, I’ve decided to say “Terry ****ing Nation” from now on. A soldier is walking through a wood, nursing a twitching arm. Sue: Either he’s late for breakdancing practice or he’s an android. Me: I think the clue is probably in the…
Part One Sue: Is there anything I should know about Stephen Harris? I don’t remember seeing his name before. Me: Only that he doesn’t exist. It’s a pseudonym for Robert Holmes. He had to rewrite another bloke’s script at the last-minute. The only thing he kept was the title. Sue: Well, if it’s Robert Holmes,…
Part One Sue: Louis Marks. I hope this doesn’t lose marks too quickly. Me: That’s a pun. We don’t do puns, Sue. Sue: But seriously, his name rings a bell. Should I know who Louis Marks is? Me: He ran a profitable sideline selling toy Daleks. Sue: Did he really? Me: No. And to answer…
Part One Terror of the Zygons gets off to a cracking start. Sue: That was a nice edit to kick things off. I’m not entirely sure what I was looking at, but it’s a confident start. An oil rig crumbles into the sea. Sue: I still don’t know what I’m looking at, but that was…
Part One Sue: Is there anything I should know before we start? Me: Only that this story was the first one released on video. Sue: Any particular reason for that? Me: Well, fans who attended the official Doctor Who convention at Longleat in 1983 were asked to suggest which story they’d like to see released…
Part One When Sue glances at the DVD’s episode selection screen, her heart sinks. Sue: Oh no! Six episodes? This is not good. And then, mid-way through the title sequence, she’s buffeted by two conflicting emotions. Firstly, there’s joy: Sue: Genesis of the Daleks! Yes! Followed swiftly by horror: Sue: Terry ****ing Nation! This could…