THE FIVE DOCTORS

We watched the original broadcast version of The Five Doctors. Sadly, I couldn’t source an off-air copy with the Children in Need ticker running across the bottom of the screen. I hope this doesn’t invalidate the science at the heart of this experiment.

The Five DoctorsNicol: I’m not watching any William Hartnell with you. You can forget it.
Me: Be patient, Nicol.
Sue: Don’t worry, Nic. Neil’s promised me that ...

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THE PERTWEE YEARS

The Scores

Here are Sue’s scores for Pertwee’s stories in reverse order (and in transmission order when tied):

The Monster of Peladon: “Tedious.” – 2/10
The Daemons: “It didn’t know what it wanted to be.” – 4/10
The Curse of Peladon: “Peladon is a shit-hole.” – 4/10
The Mind of Evil: ” The Master is rubbish.” – 5/10
The Three Doctors: “I need to watch it again.” – 5/10
Planet of the Daleks: “Average.” – 5/10
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PLANET OF THE SPIDERS

Part One

Me: Right, this is it.
Sue: This is what?
Me: This is the last Jon Pertwee story. Six more episodes and it’s all over.
Sue: Really? Why are you telling me this now? Are you winding me up again?
Me: I was going to keep it a surprise, but I believe this story works better if you know that it’s the Third Doctor’s swan song. It would have been common knowledge to the average viewer at the time, too. ...

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THE MONSTER OF PELADON

Part One

Sue: Peladon… Peladon… The name definitely rings a bell.

I sigh. For lots of different reasons.

The Monster of PeladonSue: Oh yeah, Peladon. I remember now. What have we come back here for? Peladon’s a shit-hole.

Things immediately get off to a very ropey start.

Sue: It’s Mad Max with badgers.

The miners of Peladon are attacked by an unseen force and they run away, in fear of the almighty Aggedor.

Sue: Oh ...

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DEATH TO THE DALEKS

Part One

Me: Ok, I’d like you to close your eyes during the title sequence –
Sue: Is it called Something of the Daleks?

Pause.

Me: **** it. Yes, the Daleks are in the ****ing title. There, you’ve ruined the surprise.
Sue: What surprise? It’s the bloody title!
Me: I thought it might be more interesting if you didn’t know the Daleks were in it. Oh, sod it. It’s called Death to the Daleks. Are you happy now?
Sue: Ecstatic.

The episode begins…

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INVASION OF THE DINOSAURS

Part One

Me: Right, we have two choices tonight. We can watch a recently recolourised version of the first episode – which looks a bit ropey around the edges – or we can watch a black white copy instead. It’s up to you.
Sue: Wow, I’m spoilt for choice. What do you recommend?
Me: I’d go with the black and white version if I were you. I think it looks better, and most of the audience would have seen it in ...

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THE TIME WARRIOR

Part One

The Time WarriorI can’t wait to show Sue Season 11’s new title sequence. The diamond logo! The space-time vortex! Jon Pertwee’s legs!

Sue: They’ve changed the titles. (Pause) And they’ve missed a bit.
Me: What?
Sue: The bottom left-hand corner. They missed a bit.
Me: Is that it?
Sue: I like the new theme music.
Me: They haven’t changed the music!
Sue: Calm down! Okay, it’s very clever, especially ...

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THE GREEN DEATH

Episode One

Sue: Oh, I like this one already. It’s filmed on location and it’s got a Land Rover in it.

The Green Death begins at a colliery in South Wales, and there’s trouble down pit.

Sue: This is very topical, isn’t it? I feel like we’ve stumbled into a Ken Loach drama by mistake.

The Green DeathAs Stevens, the director of Global Chemicals, perfects his Neville Chamberlain impersonation, a miner emerges from ...

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PLANET OF THE DALEKS

Episode One

Terry NationAs luck would have it, Sue misses Terry Nation’s credit because she’s busy checking her phone. It’s the one and only time we have relaxed our strict ‘no phone’ policy since the experiment began, and she’s checking to see whether the vets have called. Our cat, Captain Jack, is staying in hospital overnight, and we are both on tenterhooks (more on the good Captain later).

Oh well, I’m sure ...

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FRONTIER IN SPACE

Before we settle down to watch the first episode of Frontier in Space, I inform Sue that we have been watching Doctor Who together for exactly one year.

Sue: It’s flown by.
Me: Really? I thought you’d be fed up with it by now.
Sue: Not at all. In fact, I think it’s probably brought us closer together.
Nicol: I think I’m going to be sick.
Me: Go away, Nicol.

Episode One

Frontier in Space

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