THE FIVE DOCTORS

We watched the original broadcast version of The Five Doctors. Sadly, I couldn’t source an off-air copy with the Children in Need ticker running across the bottom of the screen. I hope this doesn’t invalidate the science at the heart of this experiment.

The Five DoctorsNicol: I’m not watching any William Hartnell with you. You can forget it.
Me: Be patient, Nicol.
Sue: Don’t worry, Nic. Neil’s promised me that ...

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THE PERTWEE YEARS

The Scores

Here are Sue’s scores for Pertwee’s stories in reverse order (and in transmission order when tied):

The Monster of Peladon: “Tedious.” – 2/10
The Daemons: “It didn’t know what it wanted to be.” – 4/10
The Curse of Peladon: “Peladon is a shit-hole.” – 4/10
The Mind of Evil: ” The Master is rubbish.” – 5/10
The Three Doctors: “I need to watch it again.” – 5/10
Planet of the Daleks: “Average.” – 5/10
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PLANET OF THE SPIDERS

Part One

Me: Right, this is it.
Sue: This is what?
Me: Jon Pertwee’s last story. Six more episodes and it’s over.
Sue: Really? Why are you telling me this now? Are you winding me up again?
Me: I was going to keep it a surprise, but this story works better if you know it’s the Third Doctor’s swan song. It would have been common knowledge at the time, too. The reason I know this for a fact is because my ...

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THE MONSTER OF PELADON

Part One

Sue: Peladon… Peladon. The name rings a bell…

I sigh. For lots of different reasons.

Sue: Oh yeah, Peladon. I remember now. So what have we come back here for? Peladon is a shit hole.

Things immediately get off to a ropey start.

The Monster of PeladonSue: It’s Mad Max with badgers.

Peladon’s miners are terrified of the almighty Aggedor.

Sue: Oh yes, Aggedor. It’s all coming back to me now. It was ...

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DEATH TO THE DALEKS

Part One

Me: I’d like you to close your eyes during the title sequence…
Sue: Is it called Something of the Daleks?
Me: **** it. Yes, the Daleks are in the ****ing title. There, you’ve ruined the surprise.
Sue: What surprise? It’s the bloody title, Neil!
Me: I thought it’d be more interesting if you didn’t know the Daleks were in it. Oh, sod it. It’s called Death to the Daleks. Happy now?
Sue: Ecstatic.

The episode begins…

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INVASION OF THE DINOSAURS

Part One

Me: Right, we have two choices. We can watch a recently recolourised version of the first episode which is a bit ropey around the edges, or we can watch a black white copy instead. It’s entirely up to you.
Sue: Wow, I’m spoilt for choice. What do you recommend?
Me: I’d go with the black and white version if I were you. It looks better. Plus it’ll be our very last black and white episode. You, know, for old ...

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THE TIME WARRIOR

Part One

The Time WarriorI can’t wait to show Sue the new title sequence. The diamond logo! The space-time vortex! Jon Pertwee’s legs!

Sue: They’ve changed the titles… And they’ve missed a bit.
Me: What?
Sue: The bottom left-hand corner. They’ve missed a bit. There’s a hole in the titles. I like the new theme music, though.
Me: They haven’t changed the theme music!
Sue: Calm down! Okay, it’s very clever, ...

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THE GREEN DEATH

Episode One

Sue: I like this one already. We’re on location and it’s got a Land Rover in it.

The Green Death takes place at a colliery in South Wales, and there’s definitely trouble at t’pit.

Sue: I feel like we’ve stumbled into a Ken Loach drama by mistake.

The Green DeathAs Stevens, the director of Global Chemicals, perfects his Neville Chamberlain impersonation, a miner emerges from the pit. Not only is he ...

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PLANET OF THE DALEKS

Episode One

Sue: We used to have a wardrobe like that. Actually, everyone had a wardrobe like that in 1973. And why have we never seen this wardrobe before? Have the Time Lords sent the Doctor some furniture in his hour of need? Is it a magic cupboard of some sort? What the **** is going on?

She’s referring to the IKEA-style flat pack wardrobe-bed-combo unit that’s suddenly an integral part of the TARDIS set.

Sue: Why is the Doctor sleeping in the ...

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FRONTIER IN SPACE

It’s been a whole year since we started watching Doctor Who together.

Sue: It’s flown by.
Me: Really? I thought you’d be fed up with it by now.
Sue: Not at all. In fact, I think it’s probably brought us closer together.
Nicol: I think I’m going to be sick.
Me: Go away, Nicol.

Episode One

Frontier in SpaceA bombastic fanfare heralds the arrival of model spaceship.

Sue: This sounds like Dudley.
Me: ...

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