The Five Doctors

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The Five Doctors
Daleks, Yeti, Cybermen… BINGO!

We watched the original broadcast version of The Five Doctors. Sadly, I couldn’t source an off-air copy with the Children in Need ticker running across the bottom of the screen. I hope this doesn’t invalidate the science at the heart of this experiment.

The Five DoctorsNicol: I’m not watching any William Hartnell with you. You can forget it.

Me: Be patient, Nicol.

Sue: Don’t worry, Nic. Neil’s promised me ...

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The Pertwee Years

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The Pertwee Years
Before we embark on the next phase of our journey, Sue looks back on the experiment so far.

The Scores

Here are Sue’s scores for all the Pertwee episodes in reverse order (and in transmission order when tied):

The Monster of Peladon: “Tedious.” – 2/10

The Daemons: “It didn’t know what it wanted to be.” – 4/10

The Curse of Peladon: “Peladon is a shit-hole.” – 4/10

The Mind of Evil: ” The Master is rubbish.” – 5/10
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Planet of the Spiders

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Planet of the Spiders
A tear, Neil and Sue?

Part One

Me: Right, this is it.

Sue: This is what?

Me: This is the last Jon Pertwee story. Six more episodes and it’s all over.

Sue: Really? Why are you telling me this now? Are you winding me up again?

Me: I was going to keep it a surprise, but I believe this story works better if you know that it’s the Third Doctor’s swan song. It would have been common knowledge to the average viewer at the time, too. ...

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The Monster of Peladon

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The Monster of Peladon
Peladon and on and on and on and on…

Part One

Sue: Peladon… Peladon… The name definitely rings a bell…

I sigh. For lots of different reasons.

Sue: Oh yeah, Peladon. I remember now. What have we come back here for? Peladon’s a shit-hole.

The Monster of PeladonThings immediately get off to a very ropey start…

Sue: It’s Mad Max with badgers.

The miners of Peladon are attacked by an unseen force and they run ...

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Death to the Daleks

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Death to the Daleks
It’s a Dalek snuff film…

Part One

Me: Ok, I’d like you to close your eyes during the title sequence -

Sue: Is it called Something of the Daleks?

Pause.

Me: **** it. Yes, the Daleks are in the ****ing title. There, you’ve ruined the surprise.

Sue: What surprise? It’s the bloody title!

Me: I thought it might be more interesting if you didn’t know the Daleks were in it. Oh, sod it. It’s called Death to the Daleks. Are you happy now?

Sue: Ecstatic.

The episode begins…

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Invasion of the Dinosaurs

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Invasion of the Dinosaurs
Up until now, Sue thought that Marc Bolan was the only 1970s T-Rex that mattered…

Part One

Me: Right, we have two choices tonight. We can watch a recently recolourised version of the first episode – which looks a bit ropey around the edges – or we can watch a black white copy instead. It’s up to you.

Sue: Wow, I’m spoilt for choice. What do you recommend?

Me: I’d go with the black and white version if I were you. I think it ...

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The Time Warrior

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The Time Warrior
Jo who?

Part One

The Time WarriorI can’t wait to show Sue Season 11′s new title sequence. The diamond logo! The space-time vortex! Jon Pertwee’s legs!

Sue: They’ve changed the titles. (Pause) And they’ve missed a bit.

Me: What?

Sue: The bottom left-hand corner. They missed a bit.

Me: Is that it?

Sue: I like the new theme music.

Me: They haven’t changed the music!

Sue: Calm down! OK, it’s very clever, especially when you consider that they ...

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The Green Death

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The Green Death
Everything’s gone green…

Episode One

Sue: Oh, I like this one already. It’s filmed on location and it’s got a Land Rover in it.

The Green Death begins at a colliery in South Wales, and there’s trouble down pit.

Sue: This is very topical, isn’t it? I feel like we’ve stumbled into a Ken Loach drama by mistake.

The Green DeathAs Stevens, the director of Global Chemicals, perfects his Neville Chamberlain impersonation, a miner ...

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Planet of the Daleks

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Planet of the Daleks
It’s all downhill from here…

It’s been one hell of a fortnight. If you read our last installment, you’ll know that Sue was admitted to hospital with chest pains a few days ago. Don’t worry, she’s going to be fine; I’ve told her that she can’t die until we reach the 1996 TV Movie, and she’s perfectly happy with that arrangement.

Me: You gave us quite a scare. Are you sure you’re feeling better now?

Sue: The doctor said I’ll be fine as ...

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Frontier in Space

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Frontier in Space
Drinking games without frontiers…

Before we settle down to watch the first episode of Frontier in Space, I inform Sue that we have been watching Doctor Who together for exactly one year.

Sue: It’s flown by.

Me: Really? I thought you’d be fed up with it by now.

Sue: Not at all. In fact, I think it’s probably brought us closer together.

Nicol: I think I’m going to be sick.

Me: Go away, Nicol.

Episode One

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