SHADA

Part One

I haven’t told Sue what we’re watching tonight, and I fully expect a cushion in the face.

ShadaSue: That’s what I’m looking for – the bloody exit. So what are we watching this week?

Tom Baker enters the Museum Of The Moving Image Doctor Who exhibit circa 1992.

Sue: Are we watching a Blue Peter special?

As Tom walks through the exhibition, he reels off the names of the Doctor’s enemies.

Tom Baker: Yeti, Gun-dan Robot, ...

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44

THE FIVE DOCTORS

We watched the original broadcast version of The Five Doctors. Sadly, I couldn’t source an off-air copy with the Children in Need ticker running across the bottom of the screen. I hope this doesn’t invalidate the science at the heart of this experiment.

The Five DoctorsNicol: I’m not watching any William Hartnell with you. You can forget it.
Me: Be patient, Nicol.
Sue: Don’t worry, Nic. Neil’s promised me that ...

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150

THE TOM BAKER YEARS

The Scores

Here are Sue’s scores for Tom’s stories in reverse order (and in transmission order when tied):

The Invasion of Time: “Oh dear.” – 0/10
Underworld: “Am I allowed to give negative scores?” – 1/10
Image of the Fendahl: “I’ve forgotten it already.” – 2/10
Destiny of the Daleks: “I hated that.” – 2/10
The Creature from the Pit: “Killed by a giant cock and balls…” – 2/10
Meglos: “Well, that was shit.” – 2/10
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95

LOGOPOLIS

The moment had been prepared for: Nicol had already agreed to watch this story with us, what with her being a mathematician and everything, and because she was going away this weekend, we planned on watching all four episodes on Thursday. But when 8:30pm rolled around, and I reached for my New Beginnings box set, I was in for a shock: the Logopolis DVD was unplayable.

Me: ****ing entropy! That’s just ****ing typical!

What’s really odd is that I can’t remember throwing ...

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97

THE KEEPER OF TRAKEN

Part One

The Doctor and Adric are chilling out in N-space.

The Keeper of TrakenSue: Tom Baker is knackered. Is this the story where they had to re-perm his hair? He looks terrible.

The TARDIS is heading for an empire where everybody is terribly nice to each other.

Sue: Traken sounds lovely. Boring but lovely.

Adric doesn’t understand why the TARDIS has decided to orbit Traken. And neither does the Doctor.

Adric: Well, you ...

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93

WARRIORS’ GATE

Part One

Warriors' GateSue: Steve Gallagher. Why does that name ring a bell?
Me: You met him about 15 years ago. He came to our university to talk about scriptwriting. I think he was friends with Bryan and Mary Talbot.
Sue: Did you ask him a question about Doctor Who?
Me: No. I was too embarrassed.
Sue: That’s a shame. Oh well, I’m not worried about upsetting him. It’s not as ...

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98

STATE OF DECAY

Part One

State of DecayThe story begins with a castle overlooking a village.

Sue: Is this one going to be a period drama? We haven’t had one of those for ages.

Inside the castle’s Tower, Sue is immediately drawn to Aukon.

Sue: It’s Fish from Marillion.
Me: Are you insane?
Sue: If Fish had a beard and a wig he would be the spitting double of him. It’s uncanny – it’s the eyeliner ...

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81

FULL CIRCLE

Part One

Full CircleThe Doctor and Romana are en route to Gallifrey.

Sue: Two K9s this week – how exciting is that? I bet they’ll conduct an extensive analysis of each other’s arses as soon as they meet.

Romana doesn’t want to go home.

Sue: Poor Romana. As soon as she gets back to Gallifrey, she should nick a TARDIS and bugger off again. I like her outfit this week. Very Romany, which is ...

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129

MEGLOS

Part One

MeglosThe TARDIS is on its way to the planet Tigella. The Doctor has been there before.

Sue: It must have been uneventful or I’m sure I’d have been forced to sit through it.

On Tigella, three humanoids with blonde hair are trying to break into something.

Sue: Is it the Thals? Are the Daleks in this one? Have they finally learnt that it’s better if they don’t put their name in the title ...

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85

THE LEISURE HIVE

Part One

The Leisure HiveSue: Ooh, new title sequence.

She’s very quick, my wife.

Sue: The theme music is very techno.

Sue thinks any up-tempo electronic music is ‘techno’. She can’t help it.

Sue: Why is Tom Baker snarling? Is he in pain?

I don’t have an answer for that.

Sue: Is somebody torturing him? Hmmm… I’m not sure about these new titles. It’s very eighties, isn’t it? It doesn’t get any more eighties than chrome ...

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