THE ANDROID INVASION

Part One

The Android InvasionSue: Oh no…
Me: Go on, then. Say your catchphrase.
Sue: Actually, I’ve decided to say “Terry ****ing Nation” from now on.

A soldier is walking through a wood, nursing a twitching arm.

Sue: Either he’s late for breakdancing practice or he’s an android.
Me: I think the clue is probably in the title.

The TARDIS arrives in the same wood.

Sue: I like the Doctor’s new coat.
Me: Oatmeal.
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TERROR OF THE ZYGONS

Part One

Terror of the Zygons gets off to a cracking start.

Sue: That was a nice edit to kick things off. I’m not entirely sure what I was looking at, but it’s a confident start.

An oil rig crumbles into the sea.

Sue: I still don’t know what I’m looking at, but that was probably a nice explosion. It was a smart decision to shoot this at night, because I can’t see a bloody thing.

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REVENGE OF THE CYBERMEN

Part One

Revenge of the CybermenSue: Is there anything I should know before we start?
Me: Only that this story was the first one released on video.
Sue: Any particular reason for that?
Me: Well, fans who attended the official Doctor Who convention at Longleat in 1983 were asked to suggest which story they’d like to see released first. And this one won.
Sue: So it must be a ...

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GENESIS OF THE DALEKS

Part One

When Sue glances at the DVD’s episode selection screen, her heart sinks.

Sue: Oh no! Six episodes? This is not good.

Genesis of the DaleksAnd then, mid-way through the title sequence, she’s buffeted by two conflicting emotions. Firstly, there’s joy:

Sue: Genesis of the Daleks! Yes!

Followed swiftly by horror:

Sue: Terry ****ing Nation!

This could take some time so I pause the DVD.

Me: We watched this story together almost 19 years ago ...

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THE SONTARAN EXPERIMENT

Part One

Sue didn’t even try to hide her excitement when she clapped eyes on the DVD’s episode selection screen.

Sue: Only two episodes? I’m in heaven!
Me: I’ll tell you what, Sue, if you can guess what makes this story interesting from a production point of view, I’ll give you a foot rub.

You’ll be pleased to know that I distracted her during the title sequence. “Could you pass me the lighter, love?” seems to work every time.

Sue: It’s on location, so ...

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THE ARK IN SPACE

Part One

The Ark in SpaceSue: So what’s gone wrong with the titles this time?

It’s a good question. For some reason, the title sequence for Part One has been rendered in sepia tone. We both agree that it looks terrible. In fact, the only good thing about these titles as far as Sue is concerned is Robert Holmes’ name.

Sue: What’s an inflatable toy doing floating in space like that?
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ROBOT

Part One

RobotSue: Ooh, scary face. Tom Baker looks very serious, doesn’t he? It’s a much better title sequence than the last one, though. You don’t need to see the Doctor’s legs.

And then…

Sue: They still haven’t fixed the titles! That’s just lazy. They’ve slapped the new titles over the old ones and hoped for the best. Do they ever sort that out, Neil?

She isn’t impressed with Tom Baker, either.

Sue: Is Tom always ...

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