THE FIVE DOCTORS

We watched the original broadcast version of The Five Doctors. Sadly, I couldn’t source an off-air copy with the Children in Need ticker running across the bottom of the screen. I hope this doesn’t invalidate the science at the heart of this experiment.

The Five DoctorsNicol: I’m not watching any William Hartnell with you. You can forget it.
Me: Be patient, Nicol.
Sue: Don’t worry, Nic. Neil’s promised me that ...

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PLANET OF THE SPIDERS

Part One

Me: Right, this is it.
Sue: This is what?
Me: Jon Pertwee’s last story. Six more episodes and it’s over.
Sue: Really? Why are you telling me this now? Are you winding me up again?
Me: I was going to keep it a surprise, but this story works better if you know it’s the Third Doctor’s swan song. It would have been common knowledge at the time, too. The reason I know this for a fact is because my ...

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70

INVASION OF THE DINOSAURS

Part One

Me: Right, we have two choices. We can watch a recently recolourised version of the first episode which is a bit ropey around the edges, or we can watch a black white copy instead. It’s entirely up to you.
Sue: Wow, I’m spoilt for choice. What do you recommend?
Me: I’d go with the black and white version if I were you. It looks better. Plus it’ll be our very last black and white episode. You, know, for old ...

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THE GREEN DEATH

Episode One

Sue: I like this one already. We’re on location and it’s got a Land Rover in it.

The Green Death takes place at a colliery in South Wales, and there’s definitely trouble at t’pit.

Sue: I feel like we’ve stumbled into a Ken Loach drama by mistake.

The Green DeathAs Stevens, the director of Global Chemicals, perfects his Neville Chamberlain impersonation, a miner emerges from the pit. Not only is he ...

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THE TIME MONSTER

Episode One

The Time MonsterSue: A Time Monster, eh? I bet the Master’s in this story. He’s a monster and he knows about time.

It just so happens the Doctor is having a vivid nightmare about his arch-nemesis.

Sue: She shoots, she scores!

The Doctor is woken by Jo, but the dream continues to disturb him.

Sue: Did Jo drop some acid in the Doctor’s tea? There’s a lot of that going around lately.

Meanwhile ...

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DAY OF THE DALEKS

Episode One

Me: I’m sorry, but I need you to close your eyes during this title sequence.
Sue: Why?
Me: Because the title of this story is a massive spoiler.
Sue: Wait, don’t tell me… Is it The Return of the Master?
Me: No.
Sue: Is it The Return of the Cybermen?
Me: Look…
Sue: The Return of the Daleks?
Me: Stop it!
Sue: It had better not be The Return of the Toymaker.
Me: Just close your eyes.
Sue: Okay… ...

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THE DAEMONS

Episode One

The DaemonsA man is walking his dog in a raging thunderstorm when his pet is suddenly killed off-screen by some unseen, malevolent force.

Sue: Right! That’s a mark off straightaway. There was no need for that.

She doesn’t care about the dog’s owner of course, even when he meets the same horrible fate.

And then the action shifts to the Doctor tinkering with Bessie in his garage. As Jo starts bleating ...

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THE CLAWS OF AXOS

Episode One

Sue: Is this one definitely in colour?
Me: Oh yes, this is definitely in colour.

A mysterious object is hurtling through space.

Sue: It’s a bowling pin with a mushroom on top.

The camera moves behind the spacecraft.

Sue: Actually, it doesn’t look that bad from this angle. It’s very organic, like Kosh’s ship in Babylon 5.

But something extremely odd is travelling on this ship.

Sue: What’s with all the meatballs?

The Claws of Axos

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THE MIND OF EVIL

Episode One

Sue: Is there any particular reason why this is in black and white?
Me: Yes, it was specifically done to annoy you.
Sue: Can’t they colour it in or something?
Me: That would be ridiculous, and almost certainly impossible. Anyway, this story looks better in black and white.
Sue: So why is the Doctor’s license plate ‘WHO 1’? Surely it should be ‘WHO 3’.
Me: Or ‘WHO TORY’. Your observations on the Third Doctor’s politics have caused quite a ...

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TERROR OF THE AUTONS

Episode One

Sue: I like the Autons, but I can’t remember whether I like Robert Holmes or not.
Me: It’s complicated.

The story begins at a circus.

Sue: An old-fashioned 1970s circus. This brings back memories.
Me: Yeah, this was when you could torture lions to death in the name of entertainment.
Sue: I feel sad now. This story has lost a mark already.

A wheezing, groaning sound fills the air.

Sue: The TARDIS sounds a bit funny. Hang on a minute…

Yes, it’s the moment ...

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