THE FIVE DOCTORS

We watched the original broadcast version of The Five Doctors. Sadly, I couldn’t source an off-air copy with the Children in Need ticker running across the bottom of the screen. I hope this doesn’t invalidate the science at the heart of this experiment.

The Five DoctorsNicol: I’m not watching any William Hartnell with you. You can forget it.
Me: Be patient, Nicol.
Sue: Don’t worry, Nic. Neil’s promised me that ...

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PLANET OF THE SPIDERS

Part One

Me: Right, this is it.
Sue: This is what?
Me: This is the last Jon Pertwee story. Six more episodes and it’s all over.
Sue: Really? Why are you telling me this now? Are you winding me up again?
Me: I was going to keep it a surprise, but I believe this story works better if you know that it’s the Third Doctor’s swan song. It would have been common knowledge to the average viewer at the time, too. ...

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INVASION OF THE DINOSAURS

Part One

Me: Right, we have two choices tonight. We can watch a recently recolourised version of the first episode – which looks a bit ropey around the edges – or we can watch a black white copy instead. It’s up to you.
Sue: Wow, I’m spoilt for choice. What do you recommend?
Me: I’d go with the black and white version if I were you. I think it looks better, and most of the audience would have seen it in ...

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THE GREEN DEATH

Episode One

Sue: Oh, I like this one already. It’s filmed on location and it’s got a Land Rover in it.

The Green Death begins at a colliery in South Wales, and there’s trouble down pit.

Sue: This is very topical, isn’t it? I feel like we’ve stumbled into a Ken Loach drama by mistake.

The Green DeathAs Stevens, the director of Global Chemicals, perfects his Neville Chamberlain impersonation, a miner emerges from ...

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THE TIME MONSTER

Episode One

The Time MonsterSue: A Time Monster, eh? I bet the Master is in this story. He’s a monster and he knows about time.

As luck would have it, the Doctor is having a vivid nightmare about his arch-nemesis.

Sue: She shoots, she scores!

The Doctor is woken by Jo, but the dream continues to disturb him.

Sue: Did Jo drop some acid in the Doctor’s tea? There’s a lot of that going ...

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DAY OF THE DALEKS

Episode One

Me: I’m sorry, but I need you to close your eyes during this title sequence.
Sue: Why?
Me: Because the title of the story is a massive spoiler.
Sue: Wait, don’t tell me – is it The Return of the Master?
Me: No.
Sue: Is it The Return of the Cybermen?
Me: Look…
Sue: The Return of the Daleks?
Me: Just stop it!
Sue: It had better not be The Return of the Toymaker.
Me: Just close your eyes ...

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THE DAEMONS

Episode One

The DaemonsWe begin with a man walking his dog in a raging thunderstorm.

Sue: Is this going to be Doctor Who meets An American Werewolf in London?

The dog runs off into a graveyard, only to be killed off-screen by some unseen, malevolent force.

Sue: Right! That’s a mark off for killing a dog. There was no need for that.

She doesn’t give a toss about the poor owner who subsequently meets the ...

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THE CLAWS OF AXOS

Episode One

Sue: This is definitely in colour?
Me: Oh yes, this is definitely in colour.

The story begins with a strange object hurtling through the cosmos.

Sue: It’s a bowling pin. In space. With a mushroom on top.

However, once the camera moves behind the spacecraft, Sue begins to warm to its unusual design.

Sue: Actually, it doesn’t look that bad from this angle. It’s very organic, like Kosh’s ship in Babylon 5.

But something extremely odd is travelling on this ship.

Sue: What’s with all ...

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THE MIND OF EVIL

Episode One

Sue: Is there a reason why this story is in black and white?
Me: Yes, it’s specifically designed to annoy you.
Sue: Can’t they recolour it or something?
Me: That would be ridiculous and almost certainly impossible. Anyway, this story looks much better in black and white. Well, that’s the common consensus, although how anyone would know that, not having seen it in colour for several decades, is open to debate.
Sue: Why is the Doctor’s license plate ‘WHO ...

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TERROR OF THE AUTONS

Episode One

Sue: Ooh, I like the Autons, but I can’t remember if I like Robert Holmes or not.
Me: It’s complicated.

Our story begins at a circus.

Sue: An old-fashioned 1970s circus. This brings back memories.
Me: Ah yes, this was back in the days when you could torture lions for entertainment purposes.
Sue: I feel sad now. This story has lost a mark already.

Suddenly, a wheezing, groaning sound fills the air.

Sue: The TARDIS sounds a bit funny this week. Hang on ...

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