THE FIVE DOCTORS

We watched the original broadcast version of The Five Doctors. Sadly, I couldn’t source an off-air copy with the Children in Need ticker running across the bottom of the screen. I hope this doesn’t invalidate the science at the heart of this experiment.

The Five DoctorsNicol: I’m not watching any William Hartnell with you. You can forget it.
Me: Be patient, Nicol.
Sue: Don’t worry, Nic. Neil’s promised me that ...

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150

THE DALEK INVASION OF EARTH

World’s End

Large chunks of this episode are taken up with an exasperated Sue moaning about how the TARDIS crew haven’t noticed a huge, ominous sign that warns the public against throwing dead bodies into a river. It could be a lot worse. It could be a poster for Sugar Puffs.

Sue: You’d have to be blind not to notice that sign! It’s moments like this that make me despair. Ian is practically staring at the bloody thing!

It takes an anachronistic looking ...

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3

PLANET OF GIANTS

Planet of Giants

Sue is fascinated by the TARDIS crew’s new costumes.

Sue: Barbara looks like a dental nurse; Ian is going for a job interview; Susan is looking forward to spending some time on a farm; and the Doctor’s got himself a shiny new cloak. It’s all go, isn’t it?

Planet of GiantsSue identifies several parallels with The Edge of Destruction, mainly because the TARDIS appears to be on the blink ...

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THE REIGN OF TERROR

A Land of Fear

I stun Sue with a confession.

Me: I’ve never seen this story before.

She spits a mouthful of hot coffee over our kitten, Tegan.

Me: It isn’t my fault! I didn’t have a VHS player when they released this story. And bits of it are missing, of course.
Sue: What do you mean, bits of it are missing?
Me: Two episodes out of six – episodes four and five to be precise – are missing from the archives. We’ll have ...

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THE SENSORITES

Strangers in Space

The SensoritesThe Sensorites begins with an incongruous scene which features our heroes fondly remembering all their adventures together so far, although nobody mentions the weird one with the scissors. However, when Barbara waves away her experiences in Mexico with a vague shrug, Sue isn’t very happy.

Sue: “I’m over it now?” That was a bit quick!
Me: Perhaps a significant amount of time has passed between the two stories?
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THE AZTECS

The Temple of Evil

My hope that Sue would soak up this episode in revered silence is dashed within seconds, mainly because we get embroiled in two very tedious discussions. Well, tedious to me, at least.

Sue: Why have they decided to visit the Aztecs? I thought Ian and Barbara wanted to get back to 1963?
Me: They’ve arrived here by accident.
Sue: Why?
Me: Well, the TARDIS doesn’t work properly.
Sue: Really? I didn’t know that. I thought the Doctor had ...

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11

THE KEYS OF MARINUS

The Sea of Death

Sue: Pause! Stop it! Rewind!

Damn, she’s good. Even I didn’t notice the production team member pushing the revolving door when I saw this episode for the first time. It happens at least twice (three times, according to Sue), and she spends the entire episode scanning the frame for the slightest hint of an AFM. She’s gonna love Earthshock and Snakedance if we get that far (and on the strength of this episode, I wouldn’t hold ...

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5

MARCO POLO

Against everyone’s advice, except for some divorce lawyers who contacted us last week, our adventure continues with a reconstruction.

Sue is initially perplexed by the experience.

Sue: It looks like a normal episode to me. This isn’t so bad. I don’t know what all the fuss is about.
Me: This is the recap from the last episode, love.

Marco PoloFive minutes into the reconstruction proper, I ask her how she’s coping. She’s ...

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2

THE EDGE OF DESTRUCTION

The Edge of Destruction

Sue finds it amusing that travelling in the TARDIS is a traumatic experience for everyone concerned, and when the crew are thrown violently to the floor, she doesn’t see it as a portent of doom, she regards it as business as usual. She’s wrong, of course.

Sue: What the hell is going on? This is a bit mental.

Her bewilderment lasts for several minutes. In fact, the last time she looked like this, I was explaining the plot of ...

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THE DALEKS

The Dead Planet

Sue: What’s this one called then?
Me: ‘The Dead Planet’.
Sue: How many episodes is it?
Me: One.
Sue: Excellent.
Me: Well, I say ‘one’. You’re not supposed to know. The episodes have individual titles, which means you wouldn’t have known when one adventure might end and another would begin. A story might last for four episodes, another might last for six –
Sue: Six? Six?!
Me: My advice would be to sit back and relax. Try to ...

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