Downtime

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Downtime
Yes, but does it count?

Sue: So what are you putting me through tonight?

Me: Tonight I’m going give you a taste of how desperate Doctor Who fans were in 1995.

Sue: A desperate Doctor Who fan. Sounds wonderful.

Me: So I’m going to show you a fan film.

Sue: Haven’t I suffered enough?

Me: The fans grew tired of waiting for the BBC to bring Doctor Who back, so they did it themselves. Fans are like that.

Sue: But how could they afford it? Kickstarter didn’t ...

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65

Battlefield

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Battlefield
Let battle commence…

Part One

Sue: This had better be good.

Me: What are you going to do if it isn’t? You can’t give up now.

Sue: Wanna bet? I could still do a Scanapanasky.

Me: Schapansky.

Sue: Whatever. I’m just saying.

Once Sue has gotten over the fact that the theme music isn’t in 5.1 surround sound, she latches onto the writer’s name.

Sue: Aaronovitch…

Me: You almost pronounced that correctly. Well done.

Sue: I like him, don’t I?

Me: Well, you liked Remembrance of the Daleks quite a ...

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174

The Seeds of Doom

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The Seeds of Doom
It’s not easy being green.

Part One

Sue: Robert Banks Stewart. Does he exist? I recognise the name.

Me: Yes, he exists. He wrote Terror of the Zygons.

Sue: I liked Terror of the Zygons.

Me: I know, but you try telling some of our readers that.

The Seeds of DoomTwo men are gathering samples from a glacier in Antarctica when one of them proclaims, “This isn’t ice!”

Sue: No, it’s polystyrene, love, but ...

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79

The Android Invasion

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The Android Invasion
In an attempt to spice up the experiment, we are watching The Android Invasion stark naked. You don’t get that with Andrew Pixley…

Part One

The Android InvasionSue: Oh no.

Me: Go on, then. Say your catchphrase.

Sue: No. I’ve decided to say “Terry ****ing Nation” from now on instead.

Trust me, it’s completely different.

A soldier is walking through a wood. His right arm is twitching erratically.

Sue: Either he’s late for breakdancing practice or ...

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119

Terror of the Zygons

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Terror of the Zygons
Och aye the nooooooooooooo!

Part One

Me: We’ve made it to Doctor Who‘s 13th season.

Sue: 13, eh? Unlucky for some.

Me: We’ll see.

Thankfully, Terror of the Zygons gets off to a cracking start…

Sue: That’s a nice edit to kick things off. I’m not entirely sure what I was looking at there, but it’s a confident start.

An oil rig crumbles into the sea…

Sue: I still don’t know what I’m looking at, but that was probably a very nice explosion. I’m sure it was a ...

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169

Robot

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Robot
I can’t wait to start the Baker years. But we have to get through Tom and Peter first…

Part One

RobotSue: Ooh, scary face. Tom Baker looks very serious, doesn’t he? But this is a much better title sequence. You don’t need to see the Doctor’s legs.

And then…

Sue: They still haven’t fixed the credits! That’s just lazy. They slapped the new titles over the old ones and hoped for the best. Will they ...

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86

Planet of the Spiders

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Planet of the Spiders
A tear, Neil and Sue?

Part One

Me: Right, this is it.

Sue: This is what?

Me: This is the last Jon Pertwee story. Six more episodes and it’s all over.

Sue: Really? Why are you telling me this now? Are you winding me up again?

Me: I was going to keep it a surprise, but I believe this story works better if you know that it’s the Third Doctor’s swan song. It would have been common knowledge to the average viewer at the time, too. ...

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70

Invasion of the Dinosaurs

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Invasion of the Dinosaurs
Up until now, Sue thought that Marc Bolan was the only 1970s T-Rex that mattered…

Part One

Me: Right, we have two choices tonight. We can watch a recently recolourised version of the first episode – which looks a bit ropey around the edges – or we can watch a black white copy instead. It’s up to you.

Sue: Wow, I’m spoilt for choice. What do you recommend?

Me: I’d go with the black and white version if I were you. I think it ...

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59

The Green Death

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The Green Death
Everything’s gone green…

Episode One

Sue: Oh, I like this one already. It’s filmed on location and it’s got a Land Rover in it.

The Green Death begins at a colliery in South Wales, and there’s trouble down pit.

Sue: This is very topical, isn’t it? I feel like we’ve stumbled into a Ken Loach drama by mistake.

The Green DeathAs Stevens, the director of Global Chemicals, perfects his Neville Chamberlain impersonation, a miner ...

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60

The Three Doctors

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The Three Doctors
Two’s company. Three’s a crowd…

As promised (or was it threatened?), here’s a video commentary featuring the 1st, 2nd and 3rd Doctors. We plan to record an edited video commentary per Doctor and I will be setting up a poll, where you can vote on which 4th Doctor story we tackle/ruin, in the very near future.

As a very special treat (or not) we are joined Sue’s brother, Gary and (for Episode Four) by her daughter, Nicol.

Normal service ...

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