Sue isn’t impressed with the resolution to last week’s cliffhanger(s).

World War ThreeSue: It’s a bit of a cop-out, don’t you think? Suddenly, the electricity isn’t as dangerous to the Doctor as we were led to believe, and now he’s put all the aliens out of action. Somehow. Don’t ask me how. Anyway, it’s a massive design flaw. That’s like having an army, but if one of your soldiers dies, they all die. ...

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The Powell Estate, London.

aliens1Me: The estate was named after Jonathan Powell, the **** who cancelled Doctor Who.
Sue: And what’s wrong with having a housing estate named after you? Didn’t Nelson Mandela have some flats named after him? I would have been flattered.

The Doctor has brought Rose home.

Sue: So the Doctor can steer the TARDIS, then. I wish this programme would make its bloody mind up.

While Rose rushes off to find ...

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Sue: So what are you putting me through tonight?
Me: I’m going to give you a taste of just how desperate Doctor Who fans were in 1995.
Sue: A desperate Doctor Who fan. Sounds wonderful.
Me: I’m going to show you a fan film.
Sue: Haven’t I suffered enough?
Me: The fans grew tired of waiting for the BBC to bring Doctor Who back, so they did it themselves. Fans are like that.
Sue: But how could they afford it? ...

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Part One

Sue: This had better be good.
Me: What are you going to do if it isn’t? You can’t give up now.
Sue: Wanna bet? I could still do a Scanapanasky.
Me: Schapansky.
Sue: Whatever. I’m just saying.

Once Sue has gotten over the fact that the theme music isn’t in 5.1 surround sound, she latches onto the writer’s name.

Sue: Aaronovitch.
Me: You almost pronounced that correctly. Well done.
Sue: I like him, don’t I?
Me: Well, you liked Remembrance ...

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Part One

Sue: Robert Banks Stewart. Does he exist? I recognise the name.
Me: Yes, he exists. He wrote Terror of the Zygons.
Sue: I liked Terror of the Zygons.
Me: I know, but you try telling some of our readers that.

Two men are gathering samples from a glacier in Antarctica when one of them proclaims, “This isn’t ice!”

The Seeds of DoomSue: No, it’s polystyrene, love, but nine out ...

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Part One

The Android InvasionSue: Oh no…
Me: Go on, then. Say your catchphrase.
Sue: Actually, I’ve decided to say “Terry ****ing Nation” from now on.

A soldier is walking through a wood, nursing a twitching arm.

Sue: Either he’s late for breakdancing practice or he’s an android.
Me: I think the clue is probably in the title.

The TARDIS arrives in the same wood.

Sue: I like the Doctor’s new coat.
Me: Oatmeal.
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Part One

Terror of the Zygons gets off to a cracking start.

Sue: That was a nice edit to kick things off. I’m not entirely sure what I was looking at, but it’s a confident start.

An oil rig crumbles into the sea.

Sue: I still don’t know what I’m looking at, but that was probably a nice explosion. It was a smart decision to shoot this at night, because I can’t see a bloody thing.

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Part One

RobotSue: Ooh, scary face. Tom Baker looks very serious, doesn’t he? It’s a much better title sequence than the last one, though. You don’t need to see the Doctor’s legs.

And then…

Sue: They still haven’t fixed the titles! That’s just lazy. They’ve slapped the new titles over the old ones and hoped for the best. Do they ever sort that out, Neil?

She isn’t impressed with Tom Baker, either.

Sue: Is Tom always ...

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Part One

Me: Right, this is it.
Sue: This is what?
Me: Jon Pertwee’s last story. Six more episodes and it’s over.
Sue: Really? Why are you telling me this now? Are you winding me up again?
Me: I was going to keep it a surprise, but this story works better if you know it’s the Third Doctor’s swan song. It would have been common knowledge at the time, too. The reason I know this for a fact is because my ...

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Part One

Me: Right, we have two choices. We can watch a recently recolourised version of the first episode which is a bit ropey around the edges, or we can watch a black white copy instead. It’s entirely up to you.
Sue: Wow, I’m spoilt for choice. What do you recommend?
Me: I’d go with the black and white version if I were you. It looks better. Plus it’ll be our very last black and white episode. You, know, for old ...

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