DOWNTIME

Sue: So what are you putting me through tonight? Me: I’m going to give you a taste of just how desperate Doctor Who fans were in 1995. Sue: A desperate Doctor Who fan. Sounds wonderful. Me: I’m going to show you a fan film. Sue: Haven’t I suffered enough? Me: The fans grew tired of…

BATTLEFIELD

Part One Sue: This had better be good. Me: What are you going to do if it isn’t? You can’t give up now. Sue: Wanna bet? I could still do a Scanapanasky. Me: Schapansky. Sue: Whatever. I’m just saying. Once Sue has gotten over the fact that the theme music isn’t in 5.1 surround sound,…

THE SEEDS OF DOOM

Part One Sue: Robert Banks Stewart. Does he exist? I recognise the name. Me: Yes, he exists. He wrote Terror of the Zygons. Sue: I liked Terror of the Zygons. Me: I know, but you try telling some of our readers that. Two men are gathering samples from a glacier in Antarctica when one of…

THE ANDROID INVASION

Part One Sue: Oh no… Me: Go on, then. Say your catchphrase. Sue: Actually, I’ve decided to say “Terry ****ing Nation” from now on. A soldier is walking through a wood, nursing a twitching arm. Sue: Either he’s late for breakdancing practice or he’s an android. Me: I think the clue is probably in the…

TERROR OF THE ZYGONS

Part One Terror of the Zygons gets off to a cracking start. Sue: That was a nice edit to kick things off. I’m not entirely sure what I was looking at, but it’s a confident start. An oil rig crumbles into the sea. Sue: I still don’t know what I’m looking at, but that was…

ROBOT

Part One Sue: Ooh, scary face. Tom Baker looks very serious, doesn’t he? It’s a much better title sequence than the last one, though. You don’t need to see the Doctor’s legs. And then… Sue: They still haven’t fixed the titles! That’s just lazy. They’ve slapped the new titles over the old ones and hoped…

PLANET OF THE SPIDERS

Part One Me: Right, this is it. Sue: This is what? Me: Jon Pertwee’s last story. Six more episodes and it’s over. Sue: Really? Why are you telling me this now? Are you winding me up again? Me: I was going to keep it a surprise, but this story works better if you know it’s…

INVASION OF THE DINOSAURS

Part One Me: Right, we have two choices. We can watch a recently recolourised version of the first episode which is a bit ropey around the edges, or we can watch a black white copy instead. It’s entirely up to you. Sue: Wow, I’m spoilt for choice. What do you recommend? Me: I’d go with…

THE GREEN DEATH

Episode One Sue: I like this one already. We’re on location and it’s got a Land Rover in it. The Green Death takes place at a colliery in South Wales, and there’s definitely trouble at t’pit. Sue: I feel like we’ve stumbled into a Ken Loach drama by mistake. As Stevens, the director of Global…

THE THREE DOCTORS

As promised (or was it threatened?), here’s a video commentary featuring the 1st, 2nd and 3rd Doctors. As a very special treat (or not) we are joined Sue’s brother, Gary and (for Episode Four) by her daughter, Nicol. Normal service will be resumed next week, when we will celebrate this experiment’s first anniversary. Adventures with…